Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Comparisons Are Futile

Our society is based upon comparisons. Each and everyday we get bombarded with fashion magazines comparing the best designers and styles, hit music countdowns on the radio every weekend, and we grow up being convinced we must keep up with the Jones'. Being a runner, I grew up constantly comparing my times to others in my district and trying to come up with the best training methods in order to keep up. It came to a point, though, where I realized that I could not get any faster. This fact deeply frustrated me because I knew that compared to the masses, my times were mediocre. I've had to slowly come to terms with the fact that I will forever be a 5:50 miler, 12:20 2-miler, and 4:16.00 marathoner, instead of being the next Kara Goucher.
Another facet where we are thrown into the same vicious cycle of forced comparisons is the job interview. It is almost a guarantee that during the interview, one will be asked why they are best for the job at hand and why they should be hired over the other applicants. This forces us into the uncomfortable position of self-promotion and making direct comparisons to other people. Also, one is typically asked to outline their strengths and weaknesses, which tends to lead towards overthinking about one's flaws.
It is healthy to know your weaknesses, if only for the basis of trying to slowly make improvements within yourself. Alas, as humans, we tend to go one step further into the realm of envy, and this is where we go wrong. We begin wishing that we had certain attributes that can be found in our friends, relatives, or celebrities, and we desire to be more like them instead of ourselves. Once we start wishing we were someone else, we begin missing the point. We cannot go through life constantly comparing ourselves to others and wishing we had certain attributes that are unattainable. Satan and his minions use envy to gain a foothold, which is why there are numerous verses in the Bible about it. The following verses are the ones I feel are the most relevant to what I am discussing:
Proverbs 14:30 ~ "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
Galatians 5:26 ~ "Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other."
James 3:16 ~ "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
Envy sprouts up usually because we crave recognition. It is human nature to want to be liked by other people. Deep down, we all desire some sort of attention, whether we want to admit it or not. I myself struggle with this as well. I have difficulty accepting the fact that I am quiet and reserved, and thus, never the life of the party. What doesn't help, either, is that my quietness is typically misunderstood or misconstrued for ulterior motives or scheming. A fictional character that I tend to relate to because she is misunderstood is Temperance Brennan from the TV show Bones. She comes across as a very cold-hearted individual because she bases all of her decisions off of facts, rather than emotions. People automatically assume that she has no emotions when, truthfully, she spends most of her time compartmentalizing so that she doesn't shutdown. I feel her anguish when she questions Booth about people calling her a cold fish or wondering what kind of person she must be if her favorite intern thinks she wants him sent away. Brennan is just one more misunderstood person who longs to fit in with society.
Instead of being constantly concerned with the opinions of others and wanting to be someone we are not, we must learn to be content with who we are and accept the role that God has given us. We are all uniquely made for a specific purpose that has yet to be revealed, and we must resist the temptation to change who we are in a weak attempt to become more favorable to particular people. Jeremiah 29:11 states, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" We have all had varying experiences in this life that can be used to our advantage as a means of assisting others with similar issues. You always have specific role for every person that you come across and it is not your job to question God's intention for you. For one person, your job might be to provide financial support, while for another, emotional support. We cannot compare ourselves to the other people in each of our friend's and relative's lives because they all have their own specific roles to fill as well. Instead, we must learn to like ourselves for who were are and how God made us. The song "Perfect" by Pink has a line that always strikes a chord with me: "Change the voices in your head. Make them like you instead...Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing, you are perfect to me." I always joke that I have voices in my head and this song is just a clear reminder that I have to ensure that those voices like me and accept me for who I truly am.
In my major of clinical exercise physiology, we are always discussing the concept of "scope of practice." This concept refers to any condition a patient might have outside the realm of our education. For instance, an exercise physiologist is not qualified to treat someone with schizophrenia. In the same respect, there are issues our friends and family have that we are unable to provide assistance for, and we must accept that fact. For example, I am not the one to approach with relationship issues because I ham not experienced in that area, while few people could provide me with reassurance and understanding about the physical pain I experienced after my marathon.
One of the best ways to come to terms with your personality is to take a valid and reliable personality test and utilize the results. In one of my classes a couple weeks ago, I happened to take the DiSC Classic, which evaluates whether you have dominance, influence, steadiness, or conscientiousness. Upon completion of the DiSC, I came to discover that I am classified as steadiness. My goal is to use this evaluation in order to focus on the tendencies outlined, which include: demonstrating patience, helping others, showing loyalty, and calming excited individuals. I am determined to accept who I am and the skill set that I have been given instead of trying to become somebody else. All I need to do is focus on God for the answer and remember that I was made according to His specifications, which are never wrong. Jonny Diaz has a song called "More Beautiful You" that addresses the constant comparisons we are faced with in this world. My favorite lines that I will concentrate on in the future are as follows:
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
And there could never be a more beautiful you
So when you are struggling with envy and the desire to be somebody else because they seem to have what you do not, try to remember that God wants you just the way you are and will never stop loving you. God has a plan for your life and He doesn't want you wasting your time longing to be anything but the unique creation that is you.

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