Self Worth Comes From Within

"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." ~1 Peter 3:4

 

Have you ever woken up and had a song stuck in your head for absolutely no reason? That happened to me today, and I haven't been able to shake the feeling that there actually was a reason behind it. The song that was on my mind this morning was "Young & Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey. It caught me by surprise because I really don't listen to her music at all and that is seriously the only song I know by her. It was part of the soundtrack for The Great Gatsby when it was in theaters last year, but I never actually went to see the movie either. In the past few months, the song popped up on my Pandora radio, but I haven't gone out of my way to listen to the song, until today.

You see, the very premise of the song is a woman's yearning to know if she will still be loved when she's no longer young and beautiful. Let that sink in for a minute. Some of you might brush the idea off, but this is a very real reality for many women. Satan has so influenced culture and perception and fooled women into truly believing that their worth is completely wrapped up in their beauty. Satan infuses this concept into every bit of media that constantly bombards women of all ages today. Billboards, commercials, movies, music, Instagram, you name it, the main idea conveyed is that you are only accepted if you have a certain body type and have the perfect facial features. If that begins to fade, we're told that it's almost our duty to make sure that we either have surgery, inject collagen or botox, paint on a pretty face, or starve ourselves in order to continue to be accepted. My heart breaks for any and all women that have fallen for this popular lie. I pity them and the effort they feel they must put into looking beautiful and presentable because this idea comes straight from the pit of hell. It's meant to make women insecure so that they doubt their worth. If they feel unworthy, they'll feel unloved, which could hinder their ability to accept Jesus' unconditional. This sense of unworthiness will undermine their very eternal salvation.

What we as Christian women must do is turn to Scripture. Within the Bible, Peter writes that our beauty is no external, but comes from within. Our countenance and spirit never change or fades over time, and that is where God tells us to find our worth. When we begin to believe the truth of the Bible, no longer will we feel the need to question whether or not we will be loved when we are no longer young and beautiful. An unchanging internal spirit means that part of us stays the same, and that is the part of us that people should fall in love with. Our acceptance and received love should not be based on our looks, but what's inside our hearts. It's more important to be a loving and compassionate soul than the most externally beautiful person. I hope and pray that you'll recognize that your personality has way more to do with your soul than your looks and that you'll find a way to love yourself, flaws and all. Don't believe the lies within the media. You are beautiful regardless of what anybody tells you about your appearance. And if you feel that a friend might be falling for these lies, encourage her and tell her that she's beautiful. Reinforce her with the Word of God, which is Truth because that's what we all yearn to hear at the end of the day.

True Character Overflows From the Heart

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'" ~1 Samuel 16:7

David was "a man after God's own heart," (Acts 13:22) but had a weak external appearance. The Lord knew that Samuel was jumping to conclusions when he first saw David, which was why he instructed Samuel to look deeper at David. David was a pint sized shepherd compared to his brothers, but the Lord knew the heart that dwelled within his chest and that David's heart loved the Lord. It was his heart that forged the way for him to become a great king, not his outward stature. Samuel thankfully trusted the Lord and anointed David king, despite his original consensus about him.

I believe that society needs to remember this key story in the Bible and return to the old ways of "judging" someone's character. Too often in this day and age people are judged based on their outward appearance, rather than their true inner character. Snap judgements keep the media stories rolling with journalists no longer willing to dig beneath the surface. It's a shame when your character boils down to the clothing you opted to wear or the social circle you decided to surround yourself with. What ever happened to getting to know someone's heart and truly understanding their character before dismissing them after a glance?

Honestly, I feel bad for people in the media who are known only for their fashion sense because once their tastes go out of style, they have nothing to fall back on. Since people would rather see what they're wearing, as opposed to peeling away the layers to expose the person's heart, their identity gets lost in the melee. Too often we focus on how smooth someone is in conversation or how sharply they are dressed. The Bible warns us of this in Proverbs 31:30, which states, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Unfortunately this advice seems to fall on deaf ears since we all seem to be too engrossed in the superficial characteristics of high society.

I've endured my fair share of snap judgements. People have made up their own mind about who they think I really am based on superficial encounters, and I just laugh at their laziness in social settings. Rather than asking me about my interests, people run rampant with assumptions. Instead of learning that I wear bright neon colors because of my years as a runner and knowing that I refused to pass up an awesome $5 t-shirt deal in California, there was one person who automatically assumed I was gay based on the San Francisco shirt I wore one evening. 

The flip-side to this is that I am also guilty of making snap judgements of others, which is a trait I'm determined to change. I need to dig deeper and make attempts at getting to know people for who they truly are, and not just what I see on the surface. I have come to realize that I'm a tough nut to crack, so why would anybody else be different? Personalities are deeply intricate and can't be revealed in a single day, let alone a five minute encounter. What comes to mind for me is a Saturday two weeks ago where I began my day working for Samaritan's Purse, went to a wedding, and then finished off my evening with dinner with my SP family. Throughout the course of the day, I went from wearing multiple layers of filthy work clothes, to a strapless red cocktail dress with heels, to jeans and a hoodie advertising the punk rock band, Icon for Hire. If anybody had encountered me in only one of those scenarios, they would assume they could make a judgement based on my appearance. But if somebody had seen me in all of those outfits, they would quickly realize that there's more than meets the eye.

This is why God so thoughtfully reminds us, especially women, how to base our judgements of others, and how to present ourselves to the outside world. The following is written in 1 Peter 3:3-4 ~ "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." God doesn't want us to be attention grabbing with our clothing ensembles. Rather, He wants us to have a gentle spirit to attract people to us, which is much more enchanting than any wardrobe. Your inner beauty will shine brighter than any jewels, and will serve the purpose of drawing others to God when they realize you possess something they don't have and they can't put their finger on it. Likewise, seek the true heart of others so that you don't miss out on all that their spirit has to offer. Look past the superficial and delve into the sincerity of their hearts.