Who is Your Captain?

Through waters uncharted my soul will embark
I'll follow Your voice straight into the dark
And if from the course You intend
I depart
Speak to the sails of my wandering heart

~Captain by Hillsong United

I'm a natural born wanderer. I just can't seem to sit still or stay in one place for very long. I know this pains some people who wish that I would be a more consistent presence in their life, but sadly, that's just not how I'm wired. At the same token, though, I'm not just aimlessly going through life. I plan to some extent, but God typically nudges me in a different direction, which has been pretty obvious during my past four years, but especially in the past four months. Four months ago I had a job. Four months ago I was trying to figure out what job to apply to next. Four months ago I got a text alert about wildfires in Middletown, CA, and took a leap of faith and told my job I was no longer available to work.

Sounds silly and foolish, I know. But disaster relief is one of those things that I feel called to do, even if that means giving up the safety and security of a paycheck. Nowhere else have I felt purpose and the ability to live out the Gospel than when I am serving people who have lost everything. We can't constantly live our lives chasing after the "almighty" dollar. That is the surest way to feel empty inside. For me, God is constantly showing me that it's serving others and the people I come across in life that help provide adventure, fulfillment, and meaning. By allowing God to lead the way, I've lived the most random four months in my entire life, and I don't think I've ever been more thankful for the path that He chose for me.
If it wasn't for that leap of faith back in September, I would never have met friends who have become family, I may not have known about a seasonal position in Charlotte that helped get me through December, and I would have spent Thanksgiving at home in Pennsylvania, rather than in New Mexico like I did. There's also a chance that I may not have had the courage to pack up my room in Charlotte on New Year's eve in order to hit the road for more volunteer work in Texas, which then led me to Missouri for more flood cleanup.
It's really awesome looking back at how God lined everything up for me up until this very moment. If it wasn't for that trip to California, I may not have had the option to head west to visit friends in Colorado after volunteering in Missouri, which could have left me stranded on a highway trying to venture east through this past weekend's epic blizzard. It's a constant reminder that I'm not in charge of my life as much as I'd like to believe that I am. God is the true captain of my life, which is ever apparent to me at this very moment. Today has been the embodiment of Proverbs 16:9, which states, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." This morning I left one friend's house with the anticipation of spending the next few days with another friend. As I hit the road today, though, my friend informed me that her daughter is currently sick and we'll have to postpone my visit. I opted to not panic, but instead, got a hold of another friend who just so happens to currently live in Colorado, rather than Vermont. She thankfully has room for me to crash tonight, so I don't have to stay forever at the Super Target I'm chilling at right now. Although my initial plans fell apart, God provided another option. I may not understand the reasoning behind it all, but I don't doubt that there is a purpose that might be revealed one day.

Like the stars
Your Word
Will align my voyage
And remind me where I've been
And where I am going
Jesus
My Captain
My soul's trusted Lord
All my allegiance is rightfully Yours 

~Captain by Hillsong United

I Don't Believe in Coincidences

In the dictionary, a coincidence is defined as "a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection." Rather, I find myself acutely aware of particular moments in my life that have prepared me for certain situations in the present. By playing an ultimate game of connect the dots, I find myself unraveling bits of God's plan for my life, slowly understanding  how I've ended up where I am in my life and that there's a purpose in all situations, big and small. I think Christine Caine said it perfectly when she stated, "At the beginning of our race, we seldom grasp God's grand plan and how interwoven, far-reaching, and transformational it is."
For those who aren't aware, I'm currently in St John participating in a work exchange program at an eco-resort. Personally, I was using this month as a way of starting fresh. A new environment among new people, with a new Bible to highlight seemed like just what I needed after my last of seven summers at a campground along the Delaware River. I didn't know a whole lot about what I was getting into, but I fully believed there was a reason for it because of how I even found out about it. If it wasn't for Hurricane Sandy exactly two years ago, I probably would have never volunteered with Samaritan's Purse, thus never meeting a couple from North Carolina who would become like a second set of parents to me, who would have never told me the story about how they participated in this same work exchange program. Also, if it wasn't Samaritan's Purse and decisions I made in the past year of my life, I may have been ill-prepared for questions I didn't know I was going to encounter on this adventure to the Caribbean.
Last November, after much hemming and hawing and muddling over it in my mind, I decided to get baptized at my local church. A part of the process involved typing out my personal testimony (which can be found here) for it to be read in front of the entire congregation before I got baptized. Also, what I've discovered through my work with SP is that other Christians are interested in my personal testimony of how I came to be a Christian, so I have a bit of experience sharing it with others. Little did I know how these instances would prepare me for my trip to St John.
When I came to St John, I hoped to get myself into a daily routine of reading my Bible because I slacked all summer and almost found myself avoiding it. To combat this, I set my alarm an hour before I was to start working everyday in order to give myself time to read a chapter of Proverbs every morning. I also didn't come down here with any grand plans for evangelism. I knew I'd share about how I was a Christian and volunteering with SP, but I had no plans otherwise. What I didn't count on was appearing to be an enigma to another volunteer.
A few nights after Hurricane Gonzalo thankfully bypassed the island, I found myself over at one girl's ecotent to enjoy dinner and some rum and cokes. We casually chatted and listened to music, discussing what bands we've seen in concert, and which artists came across as particularly narcissistic while performing. Then at some point, almost out of the blue she turned to me and asked, "So how did you end up being a Christian? Because everyone I know who is is either a recovering drug addict or alcoholic, and unless you're hiding something, you don't seem like either." I'll admit I was a little caught off guard since I can't remember the last time a non-Christian asked me for my testimony. It took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts, but I soon found myself, with the help of the Holy Spirit, walking her through my entire testimony, along with going off on tangents about sin, homosexuality, how we can't force other people to believe in Jesus, and how only God can change people's hearts. I finally understood why 1 Peter 3:15 states, "But in your hearts, honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect." Thankfully, God spent the last year of my life preparing me exactly for that moment. Oddly (and I use that term loosely) enough, there was a fellow on the beach today who I ended up sharing my testimony with, and not only that, he asked me to say a prayer. Again, God had me in the right place at the right time prepared precisely for the circumstances of that moment.
One other instance of what the world would call a coincidence and I refer to as a God moment occurred the other night in Cruz Bay. It was a typical night of wandering shops and hanging out at various bars, but as we were walking back to the car, I started feeling remarkably lonely and homesick. I sensed that this was a spiritual attack, since I'm prone to bouts of depression, so I prayed to be clothed in the armor of God and thought of Ephesians 6:11-12, which states, "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." As we got in the car and pulled out of the parking lot, the radio was playing faintly. I could've sworn I knew the song, but just couldn't place it. Mind you the majority of the songs on the radio are either reggae or new pop songs that I haven't heard yet. As I strained to hear the words, it suddenly occurred to me that it was the tail end of "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United. It was the very song that had popped into my head after I read my acceptance email from the eco-resort (story found here). God was using the very song that had encouraged me back in May to comfort me in October. It brought relief to my heart and a smile to my face because I'd called out to God and had immediately received a response. It was His reminder that He is always with me, so I have no need to feel lonely. The ending of my night was just like the closing lyrics of the song. "I will call upon Your name. Keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine."

Incessant Planning Annihilates Faith

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." ~2 Corinthians 5:7

Planning seems to be a way of life in the 21st century. There's wedding planning, retirement planning, travel planning, etc. Everything under the sun seems to require a plan these days in order to maintain the status quo of society. Unfortunately, plans do not always go as planned. That's when people start asking if there's a backup plan to your original plan. And that's about when my mind decides that it wants to explode. What if I don't want to plan? What if I choose to fly by the seat of my pants with minimal knowledge about what my future holds? What if I opt to live by faith and leave the planning up to God? You know, the Big Man upstairs who CREATED the universe, myself included. I was talking with a friend the other night who put it perfectly. She said something along the lines of, "Constantly planning is like Peter making sure he wore a lifejacket when he stepped out of the boat." Where's the faith? Where's the trust? If we say that we believe God is in charge of our lives, why not relinquish complete control and embrace not knowing every intricate detail of the future? 

I've had planning phases in my life, so I'm as guilty as the next person. I planned my college courses to a T, along with my cross country roadtrip back in 2010. I enjoyed both experiences, but there were unforeseen circumstances that I couldn't predict. I had to eventually put my trust in something and someone outside of myself. I needed to allow God to lead me rather than place demands on Him, expecting everything to work out. See, the problem with humans is that we are flawed. We don't know best, and we are limited in our vision. God is not confined by time, making Him the perfect one to go to with our lives. He knows what's in our past and future before we even reach it. Our job is to have faith and stop being so stubborn. I'm not saying that we should never be prepared, but we need to stop assuming we know what's best for our lives. And we need to accept not knowing.

On a whim back in February, I applied for a work exchange program in St. John in the Virgin Islands. I've never been there, but it seemed like a potential cool experience. I put it out of my mind, but to my complete surprise, I got an acceptance email in May. My first response was excitement, but then my mind began racing and wondering. Would I have enough money to afford food and not getting paid for a month? Would I be able to afford the cost of a flight? Would I be able to afford transportation to the resort? Was I just being foolish to up and go to the Virgin Islands in October once I complete my summer job? I was trying to plan the unknown future, which is impossible. Finally, I began to realize that it was potentially a once in a lifetime experience. And then I remembered the other thing that popped into my head as I originally read the acceptance email. "Oceans" by Hillsong United had come to mind, specifically the line, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me." These words spoke volumes to me. Not only was God calling on me to trust Him, but it perfectly fit my situation. I was literally being called to an island in the middle of the ocean that I've never set foot on in my life. How could I possibly say no after such confirmation? So I immediately booked a flight and will be flying to this island the end of September to see what God has in store for me. Sure, some might think it's foolish. Others may assume that I have an inability to plan financially for the future. But I'm not here to garner the approval of people. I'm here to live for God. I'm here to show compassion to those who don't deserve it. I'm here to comfort the brokenhearted and serve others to the best of my abilities. 

As much as I try to convince myself that I'm in charge of my life, I need to remind myself that I'm not. Situations change. People change. Only God is the same now and forever. It's time that I stop trying to make sense of everything because the truth of the matter is, life isn't meant to make sense. A + B does not always equal C. It isn't rational and there are many things that I can't ever wrap my head around. But my faith in Jesus is what gets me through each and everyday. It's where I put my trust when things don't add up. Sure, I still need to grow like everyone else and release certain situations to God COMPLETELY. But I know I'm making progress. I'm not as stressed as I used to be and I can go with the flow more naturally because I know my future is in the hands of my Creator.

Demonstrate Compassion

Living in a world that revolves around yourself is easy. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. This is not how Christ lived his life, though, and our duty as Christians is to walk in the ways of Jesus as best we can. To do this, we must get outside of our shells and have compassion on other people because that was how Jesus lived. He demonstrated compassion on those he encountered.
One such example of Jesus' compassion can be found within Matthew 15:32, which states, "Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, 'I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.'" Jesus was aware that the large crowd had to feel famished physically, even if they were spiritually full after spending three days with Him. Jesus saw the need of those within the crowd and responded accordingly. He had the disciples distribute what little food they possessed in order to feed the crowd of four thousand, and by God's grace, there were plenty of leftovers. Because of Christ's compassion, the crowd was able to go home with full stomachs and enough energy to make the journey home.
In 21st century America, it becomes too easy to turn a blind eye to the needs of others. Instead of ignoring people's needs, we should be driven to help and serve others the best we can. We must demonstrate compassion, and the only way to do that is to be aware of your surroundings and willing to live outside of your own little bubble. To make it easier to remember, keep the lyrics of Hillsong United's song "Mighty to Save" in mind, which begins with the line, "Everybody needs compassion." That should stir you into action, hopefully. 
For example, if somebody has forgotten their wallet and can't pay for their groceries, offer to help them out. If somebody has a flat tire, stop and ask to assist in anyway that you can. If somebody is job-searching, just like you, offer suggestions to make the process easier and less stressful for them. These are all ways that each one of us can demonstrate compassion. Hebrews 10:24 phrases it in this unique fashion: "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works." By taking the time to demonstrate compassion in the lives of others, we offer an example and encouragement for others to follow suit.