Monday, October 21, 2013

Inspired to be Relatable

"Aim to be relatable rather than impressive and you'll never fail to amaze those around you. The time is always right to be real, to be you." ~Julianne Wilson

This afternoon I read a post by Julianne Wilson that inspired me entitled, My Un-Instagramable Life. The gist of the post was to express how we as a society focus too much on projecting the perfect life in order to impress those around us and "win people over". Too often there is a pervasive tendency to promote perfect lives that just don't exist. I, too, am guilty of this, so don't think that I'm sitting here pointing fingers. I sometimes post pictures to Instagram wondering how many people might enjoy the sunset or entertaining shirt I just picked up. There's nothing necessarily wrong with posting things from your life, but if the vibe you're giving off is that nothing ever goes wrong, then you're lying not only to your followers, but also to yourself.
Julianne Wilson's honest blog post made me sit back and examine my own life. There have been moments this week that weren't as "happy go lucky" as pictures or tweets might have let on. I had moments of confusion wondering what I'm going to do with my life once I actually get back home. I had moments of sadness missing home, my family, cat, and certain friends. I've dealt with feeling helpless because I want to assist friends stuck in difficult situations, but I don't have the means to do so at the moment. I felt frustration over silly things like wishing my career would actually start or that there'd be time for me to visit friends I haven't seen in months, and the fact that I still struggle with anxiety even when I'm around people that I know well. Heck, I've even had moments of jealousy when on Instagram and paying more attention to what other's supposedly have, rather than focusing on what God has blessed me with this week.
None of this is at all impressive, but it certainly is relatable, and that's the point. It made me look back on friendships I've forged in this past year, ones that I'm thankful for and even sometimes wonder why they came into being, and I realized something. Those friendships had nothing to do with how "impressive" my life has been the past year. They had nothing to do with perfection, beauty, or what I could provide financially. All of the friendships were formed because we could relate to one another in a particular way, and that is way more powerful than people approving of me based on my social media posts. As C.S. Lewis wrote, "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" 
When I seek to encourage somebody, I don't say, "Hey, go look at my Instagram photos and see what kind of life you could be enjoying." Rather, I send them quotes, books, or songs that I believe that they can relate to given their particular situation. On top of that, I tend to be able to send some form of encouragement in some form because God has blessed me with a similar situation in which I can relate personally to what they're going through. Over the past year I've definitely learned that a great ministry tool is being open about your own personal struggles with those you meet because you never know who is going through the exact same trial. I was affirmed in this feeling when I was reading The Church Awakening by Charles Swindoll because he wrote that some of the best ministry advice that he got from Jim Petersen was, "Chuck, let people see cracks in your life, and you'll be able to minister to them." In essence, he was to be relatable, not a "perfect" pastor up on a pedestal who seemed unreachable.
Looking back at the teachings of Jesus, you'll notice that His parables related to daily life for the people of that time. Though the purpose of the parables was to weed out those who could truly understand what they were hearing from those who couldn't, what He spoke on were relatable topics, such as farming or making bread. What we also must remember is that because Jesus is fully human and fully God, He can relate to each and every experience we ever have or will encounter. Jesus understands disappointment, loss, betrayal, and disgrace more than anybody else you'll ever meet, which is why He should be the first one you always run to in crisis. He is the only one who can make you feel whole again, but if you're in need of someone tangible, He will place someone along your path who can relate to what you're going through. We were designed to carry each other's burdens, which is what Paul wrote in Galatians 6:2. But in order to carry each other's burdens, we must be willing to open up about the fact that our lives are not as perfect as we might have hoped. You'll never truly relate to anybody until you admit your shortcomings, weaknesses, and struggles.
One last thing before I close out this post. I'm aware that not everybody is into punk rock or electronica music, but a band that I believe writes straight from the heart on everyday topics is Icon for Hire. They just came out with a new album last week and I'll admit that on the first listen through, it's hard to understand the lyrics. If you're willing to get past that and listen intently, or at least just read through the lyrics, I believe that you'll all be able to find a song that speaks to you, whether it involves a past or present experience. So I'll leave you with links to their full album and lyrics if you'd like to check it out.

Friday, October 18, 2013

When Life Gives You Lemons...Learn How to Juggle

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." ~Romans 8:28

Anybody close me knows that the past three weeks have been a little hectic and haven't exactly gone as planned. It has been a time that has served as a reminder that God is in charge of my life and instead of throwing a "woe is me" pity party, it's best just to laugh and move on when things don't pan out. The stories that I'm about to share all happened before I was motivated to write this, but after reading some posts by Elizabeth Griffin that are part of her series, The Dirty Gospel, I felt that I should pass on some of my recent experiences and how they've taught me to always turn to God and trust that He has my best interests in mind, even if I end up in some uncomfortable situations. 
For two weeks leading up to my September 29th departure for Colorado I had been planning what exactly to pack, how to arrange it, which route to drive, and hoping that a friend of mine would be able to accompany me. Unfortunately, due to scheduling conflicts, I'd be driving solo on my cross country roadtrip, but I didn't let that get me down. The night before my departure, I was at a wedding for a friend's mom. My friend's family is from the Dominican Republic, so Spanish is predominantly what is spoken at any sort of family get together, including this wedding. I was enjoying myself up until the moment I realized that I couldn't find my car key. This was kind of a big deal for a handful of reasons. For starters, it's the only key to my car. On top of that, all of my belongings to go to Colorado were locked in my car, and I was supposed to be departing in less than 12 hours from when this occurred. I recruited my friend's brother-inlaw to help spread the word to look for my key and was desperately trying not to panic. We retraced my steps, and I asked a few people if they'd seen my key on a table, which is hard when you're not quite sure if they understand English. I finally ventured back to my table and was looking underneath the table when my friend's grandma began speaking to me in Spanish and making hand gestures like somebody had taken my key. I went to find Juan to serve as translator and we finally figured out that someone had picked up the key thinking it was their niece's, so Juan went and found this person and got my key back. I was very thankful to have it back after all of the confusion, and my blood pressure was finally returning to normal after my bout of anxiety. It was after this situation that I was reminded that God is in charge of each part of my life, even little tense moments like finding a lost key. No amount of planning for my trip could have prepared me for that situation, so again, I needed to remember to have faith in God in the forefront of my mind as I began my travels west to Colorado. It was at that point that I made an effort to fixate on Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths," and I even signed the majority of the Bibles with that verse while volunteering with Samaritan's Purse to serve as a reminder to the homeowner and myself that God is in charge of every aspect of our lives, even if it doesn't seem like it at times.
Fast forward fifteen days and I found myself sitting in my car on the shoulder of Interstate 80 by mile marker 117 in Illinois. I had just gotten pulled over, and I was really hoping that I wasn't going to get a speeding ticket for my 70 in a 65. The trooper kindly knocked on my window and explained that I was being given a warning for "improper lane usage" and asked me if I minded coming back to his patrol car to sign the warning. Since I had nothing to hide and really didn't mind, I got out and wander back to his vehicle and sat in the front passenger seat. The trooper called in his location and asked me where I was coming from. I explained that I had been volunteering with Samaritan's Purse in Colorado helping to mud out homes and spray a disinfectant for mold. While sharing this, I did notice another cop car across from on the median, but thought nothing of it. The trooper then asked me about the cross I had in the back window of my car before asking me if I thought he was being mean because I was acting nervous. That caught me by surprise because I had felt a sense of relief when he said I wasn't getting a ticket. In my mind, I was thinking, "Well, gee officer, I'm sitting in the front seat of your patrol car, which isn't an everyday occurrence, so of course I'm nervous." What I actually said was that I was just concerned with going in the proper direction towards Michigan to visit relatives. He asked where I'd started my drive and I said Iowa, again thinking this was normal questioning to be thorough. The trooper then asked if it was okay that he check the VIN number on my car to make sure it matched the registration, so I told him to go right ahead. I sat there wondering why he thought I was acting nervous, and had that answered once the trooper came back into the vehicle. He asked me if I had been checking my mirrors for him to be following me and I said I had. That's just what I do when I see a cop pull out because I'm not sure if they're coming for me or someone out and regardless, I don't want a ticket. That was the precursor to the troopers bombshell: this is a big drug area and you're acting a bit jittery, so do you mind if I ask you a few questions? I laugh about it now, but at the time I was thinking, are you serious? I then faced a line of questions starting with how I felt about medical marijuana, which led into asking if I had heroin, cocaine, amphetamines, weapons, or large amounts of cash in my car. The trooper then said I seemed to have a lot of stuff in my car for an 11 day visit to Colorado, and in my naivety, I mentioned how I was going to Kentucky and North Carolina after visiting Michigan. I am one to just be up front and honest about my life, but in hindsight, if I were a drug runner, this would make it sound like I was spreading my product around. The trooper then asked me if it was okay to search the vehicle and I told him if he felt that was necessary that he could go right ahead. There were two funny parts as I got out of my car. First, I realized that a second cop car was actually sitting behind us, and the trooper took interest in my "runner girl" magnet and proceeded to discuss the Chicago marathon with me as he went to search my car. To me, that demonstrated the paradox of this entire situation; he was serious about ensuring I wasn't a drug mule, but he truly was a compassionate man interested in my life, including my running and volunteer work. Heck, he even thanked me for my time in Colorado before he asked me how I could afford to go out there and how I felt about medical marijuana. I share this story not to criticize cops because I believe it is important for them to do their job and keep us safe from illegal drugs. I mention it more for the reminder that life has unexpected pitstops which can catch us completely off guard an might seem totally ridiculous. Even so, I know God had me pulled over for a reason, even though I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it was to test my ability to remain honest under pressure, which technically put me in a hole because I freely admitted I was traveling from a state where medical marijuana is legal. But that's besides the point. Nobody likes to feel like they are about to get in trouble, even if they know they're innocent, and I think our sin nature has that reflex of wanting to lie, even when we know honesty is the best policy. Either God wanted to make sure I'd be completely honest about my travels, or He was protecting me from something down the road. No matter what, it sure makes for a great story.
The last of my three stories taught me about slothfulness. The other day a friend asked me to run with her to help her achieve a new distance goal. I was all about assisting and was feeling great until mile 2. That was when all of my previous running injuries decided to come back with a vengeance. My IT band issues flared up to the point I felt like I was being stabbed and my hip joints ached and were forcing me to change my gait. Definitely not something that felt at all pleasant, and on top of that, I was the reason we had to start walking. It was a big wake up call to my sheer laziness since July, which was the last time I really put any effort into running. Proverbs 13:4 states, "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied." Sure I might have spent time craving to get back into running, but without getting myself out that door, I saw no results, and when I did, all I saw was injury. I've always had a love/hate relationship with running where I love to do races, but hate to actually train for them. This little setback taught me that I needed to be diligent in my training in the future if I was going to enjoy running without pain. Part of me wanted to sulk after this occurred, while another part of me was embarrassed since I'm known as a runner. I know Satan likes to get inside my head and desires to infuse my brain with a defeatist mentality, but I stopped short of throwing that pity party. Actually, what helped was thinking of my adopted nephew and how I always tell him to get over himself when he cries and then I threaten to club him like a baby seal* (yes, I believe in tough love and have an odd sense of humor). 
This morning, I truly realized that I needed to get over myself and just acknowledge the fact that I've been lazy and I can work past this if I do just that: work. I needed this wake up call and this third lemon in as many weeks, but I've honestly learned from each experience that God has thrown at me. I've learned that even with plans, one cannot foresee particular circumstances that unwittingly pop up. I've also been reminded that everything, good and bad, happens for a reason to build me up for the future, and that getting anxious about any mishaps won't get me anywhere. And lastly, I know that with a little hard work and preparing my legs for the impact of running, I can redeem my running career by October 26th so that I enjoy running the 2nd annual Run Your Booty Off 5K in Morehead City....dressed as a penguin. Just remember, life isn't about being perfect, it's sometimes about going with the flow and learning how to juggle unexpected situations and circumstances. So pay attention and be aware of the fact that God is trying to teach you something new everyday, and it's best to remain teachable.
This shirt has taught me to not take running so seriously...or myself for that matter

*There were no baby seals harmed in the typing of this blog post