Accepting God's Plan

I have had a lot of thoughts brewing in my mind lately. There have been events that have occurred that have created turmoil in my soul. Part of me questions why this is all happening and I find myself constantly resisting the inevitable outcomes. While I sit here questioning, I remember a verse that was mentioned in my Bible study on Sunday night. The verse was 1 Peter 4:12, which says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised by the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you." Instead of focusing on this verse, though, my mind has been driven by my sin nature and I have become quite selfish wondering if everything is going to spiral out of control. Week after week seems to present me with one more person who I question whether or not they want me to remain a part of their life.
My knee-jerk reaction, of course, is to want to confront the people about what has been going on in their lives to cause them to slowly withdraw. To many, this might seem like the logical solution in order to help the other person search what is causing their own inner turmoil. But at the same time, it appears selfish to try and rescue friendships/relationships for my own benefit so that I do not have to endure the pain that accompanies such a loss. Considering I despise change of any sort, it makes perfect sense that this is how I react in these situations when I am confronted with them.
After much pondering tonight, though, I have come to the conclusion that I am wrong about how I am reacting to these potential relational losses. As painful as it may be to endure, I must remember that it is all part of God's bigger and better plan. I must remember Mark 8:34-37 ~ "Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" I must remember that my yearning for maintaining my relationships with friends and family in life is focusing on my wants and desires, not God's. What we hope for is always more worldly in nature, when we should truly focus on our spiritual needs. Jesus should always be the center of our lives so that we save our souls. He is the one who saves us and truly knows what is best for our lives. We are placed in situations in order to build our faith and reliance on God and we must remember that just because events do not unfold in the manner we desire does not mean that God is not present and working in our lives. God always has a plan for His people and it is our job to accept that plan, instead of trying to constantly change it to suit what we feel we deserve. But we must remember that God owes us nothing. He doesn't need to bless us with worldly possessions or relationships, but He has mercy on His people and provides them with what He sees fit. Our job is to be thankful for God's blessings no matter what and to worship Him. From here on out, we must limit our questioning of God's intentions and have more acceptance of the events and situations of our lives.
There is a song by Laura Story called "Blessings" that I just heard on Thursday. The lyrics seem to relate to my current situation and seem a fitting ending to this blog post.

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home