Each person in life combats their own personal demons everyday. It makes it hard sometimes to get through the day because you feel like nobody can relate to what you are going through. I was reminded of this at a youth event at a church last night. The event was called "I'm screwed up; you're screwed up." It was nice to be confronted with the realization that we all have troubles in this world and that we are not alone. Numerous people deal with similar situations and can be a wealth of knowledge if you ever come across those individuals, and of course Jesus can relate to any and every kind of suffering here on Earth because He has experienced it.
When it comes to life and running, I must admit that my biggest obstacle is my own mind. For those who know me well, this doesn't come as any big surprise. For the rest who know me in passing, this may not be as apparent. In all honesty, each and everyday I personally struggle with some form of confidence issue, anxiety, or depression depending on the season and what the day brings forth. Like many, I am slightly ashamed to admit to these struggles, but I have slowly come to accept them as part of who I am and my hope is to be able to help others around me who have similar issues. But it is because of these mental struggles that I may appear anxious, distracted, quiet, or my words come out as a mumble. In recent months, I have been trying to force myself out of my comfort zone in order to defeat my inner demons. If I sense the stirrings of a round of depression, I force myself to socialize with people because I know that isolation is the worst idea in such a situation. I am also rebuilding my confidence in the area of running by signing up for the Delaware Marathon and am currently 8 weeks away from race day. My hope is to put the doubt out of my mind that I can finish the marathon since I dropped out at mile 22 of the Harrisburg Marathon in November 2007.
A verse from the youth event got me thinking that I can use my own struggles in running to help others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." Pondering this verse, I realized that my own doubts when it comes to the marathon and my experience of completing and marathon and dropping out of one could be used to help others who are struggling with doubt. I understand the many aspects of training and how one should feel leading up to race day, so I can utilize this knowledge God has blessed me with to help calm to anxiety of fellow runners. I have had to overcome my own anxiety, doubt, and confidence issues in the realm of running and God has comforted me whenever I have stumbled. I believe that He wants me to be an ear for other runners who also voice doubts so that I can try and provide comfort after understanding where they are at in their own training and mentality.
Instead of viewing my mental battles as stumbling blocks, I believe I should view them as building blocks for relationships with other runners. Without these hardships, I would not be the person or runner that I am today and it is foolish to try and outrun who I am because the Father rendered me into a unique being and He makes no mistakes. Proverbs 27:17 states, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." I take this to mean that those of similar character, striving towards similar goals, and struggling with similar issues can help build each other up and strengthen the other's overall outlook and confidence due to shared understanding. This is why it is so important to be honest about who we are inside because you never know if the person next to you is dealing with a similar situation and can provide comfort and encouragement to get you through the day. In the same fashion, always be willing to listen to others and provide counsel because you never know who needs their faith bolstered.
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