Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Running to Regain Composure

Unfortunately I let my mind get the better of me today.  There was a situation in my life that I thought I was okay with until I really began to think about it.  And for those who know me well, you know that me and thinking are never a good match.  I have this tendency to over-think, which of course leads to me being overly stressed.  In this particular instance, I knew that it was a waste of my energy, but my mind was hooked on the principle of the situation, not necessarily the situation itself.  Without delving into much detail, it involves a distant relative who, for uncertain reasons, has decided to stop communicating with me and my family.  Given the fact that I was never particularly close with this relative, one would think no big deal.  But given my brain's track record for questioning, I got to the point where I was extremely bothered on principle.
I would like to say that I was able to rest in the Lord through prayer, but that would be a lie.  We all have our shortcomings, and allowing myself to become stressed over something insignificant happens to be one of my many shortcomings.  Luckily God finds subtle ways to provide an outlet for my stress and anger.  A friend of mine at school happened to stop me in the lobby of the fieldhouse to chat and he happened to notice that I appeared stressed and asked me to talk about the situation.  He patiently listened as I awkwardly explained what was bothering me and then he suggested that we go for a run.  At first I wasn't all about it because I was congested, but I eventually decided to take him up on the offer after I saw another friend of mine going out for a run as well.  I am very thankful that this opportunity came along because that run was just what I needed.  I took out all of my anger and frustration out on the short 2.5 mile loop that I decided upon.
Once back at school, I thanked my friend for running because it was just what I needed.  I believe God knew this and provided me with someone who was concerned about my mental health to get me to refocus my attention.  I talked with one other person about it and she told me flat out that it was useless and wasted stress by thinking on the situation, and I had to agree.  I was very glad to find two people in my day to care enough to let me talk out my issues and give me the outlet of running.
I will leave you with a verse from the book of Psalm.  Psalm 37:8 reads, "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil."  My goal is to keep this verse in the front of my mind so that I continue to refrain from anger and not fret over unchangeable situations.  I will do my best to remember that God is sovereign and keep Satan from taking over my thoughts.

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