Resist the Urge to Please People

"To follow me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your desire to please other people."
"Find freedom through seeking to please Me above all else. You can only have one Master. When you let others' expectations drive you, you scatter your energy to the winds." -Sarah Young from Jesus Calling

Capitalism is what drives American society in this day and age, and unfortunately, this mentality is how we approach many relationships in life. We go around wondering what people can do for us instead of what we can do for them. Or we end up trying to keep people happy because we feel that is the only way to maintain our friendships. Let me tell you now that this way of thinking is dead wrong. Life should not be lived based on other people's opinions, nor should we go about trying to use people for our own gain.
I'm going to be completely honest with you here. I have spent the majority of my life trying to be a people-pleaser, but to no avail. In the recent months, though, I have come to the conclusion that I would much rather have few friends who truly like me for me, than to have a boatload of friends who only like me for who I am related to or associated with. I am well aware of the fact that I have numerous acquaintances who have been friendly towards me only for these reasons or tried to achieve personal gain from their association with me. I'm not stupid, but in certain instances, I allowed it since it gave me an avenue to discuss Jesus with them. But I have also been brave and stepped out of situations where I did not feel welcomed for being who I am. I have left churches, not just because I felt it wasn't completely Bible centered teaching, but also because people who had known me for awhile still called me by someone else's name or asked me more about how my friends and family were than how I was.
The clearest slap in the face that God gave me, though, was on my current trip to Germany. In order to convey that I liked dinner, I ate 3.5 pieces of pork and had two heaping servings of potatoes and green beans. But, alas, my Oma still wasn't convinced that I liked her cooking and all I was left with was an extremely full stomach.
That was the point I was determined to change. Instead of putting so much energy into being people focused, I was bound and determined to become more Jesus focused. I am currently reading Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman, which is all about how many people are fans of Jesus, but not true followers. They like what He stands for, but they are not willing to make Him number one in their hearts and put complete trust in Jesus. Instead, they still play by their own rules, making constant justifications to the decisions they have made in life. Instead of listening to the words in Luke 9:23 where Jesus commands, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow." Unfortunately, many are determined to not let Jesus change their lives in such a radical fashion. They prefer their earthly comforts because they don't know any better and don't know how else to find joy. But Jesus is the only path to true joy, so we must choose to follow Him wholeheartedly. It won't be easy at first, but with practice, it will be second nature.
I know that I am at a crossroads in life being as I just finished school and I have no job lined up. My human nature tells me I have to search for a new role to fill in order to accomplish something in life. The two problems with this way of thinking is that it completely eliminates God's plan for me, which is why I have found Galatians 3:3 and 1 Corinthians 7:20 to be so useful and important. These verses state, "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" and "Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him." In essence, I should not insult God by trying to find my place in life, nor should I radically change who I am or where I am unless it is in His will. I cannot see into the future and where I will end up in life. I must, instead, trust in God wholeheartedly that I am where I am supposed to be and that He will guide me into my proper situation when He feels I am ready. I will ask in prayer what His plans are, but I refuse to jump the gun without truly believing it is what He wants and not what I want.
I think this is truly the purpose behind my trip to Europe: to reestablish my relationship with Jesus. I had always thought that it would be to get closer to members of my family, but that was not the case and I am grateful I have come to the realization of God's plan so that I would not remain frustrated over the fact that my plan was not to be. I have finally accepted that things are the way they are and that has allowed me to release pent up resentment in my heart. I finally feel content in life and have no desire to try and make excess efforts to have more than a superficial relationship with certain people. A line from Not a Fan says it best: "One of the basic truths about love is that is can't be forced." This is something I have always known and been aware of, but it is helpful to have the reminder. Instead of being bitter over the friends I have lost, I have become ever more grateful for those who have chosen to remain by my side in the good times and the bad.
So from here on out, I plan on trying to follow Jesus with all of my heart and to not force situations or relationships that He does not desire me to have. He has placed certain people in my life to help me along my journey and it is up to Him how long they remain there. It might be an hour. day, week, month, year, or a lifetime. I will never know, but I will no longer try so hard to please people in a weak attempt to get them to like me. If they don't like me for who I am, then that is their choice and I would much prefer being able to count my true friends on one hand than have a fake posse.