Ever feel like life keeps pummeling you with trials that you can't always juggle? My life seems to have turned into a circus act as of late, and I've found it very difficult to continue functioning in a normal manner. I think my main issue is that I have tried too much to just rely on myself, and we all know that's not how life works. The reason we are given so much to handle and take in is so that we finally come to that realization that we need Jesus to get us through each and every day. The only problem with having so much go wrong in life all at once is that we begin to question whether or not God is really there watching over us. Some might call this doubt; others lack of faith. I call it human nature. I don't question God's presence. I know He is there even if I don't always sense it. It reminds me of lyrics from the song "Give Me Faith". The bridge says the following: I may be weak. Your spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail. My God you never will. The essence of this is that, as humans, we can never fully live up to God's expectations, but with His help, we can achieve glory.
I believe my main issue lately isn't necessarily that my life is falling apart. I feel I have become lazy in my faith. A relationship with God takes a lot of effort to maintain. Like any other relationship, if you don't remain close and have a continual dialogue, it fades. I have struggled lately in my prayer life and have been too earthly focused. I have gotten frustrated at circumstances and wished they didn't occur instead of praying the matter over and giving God the burden. Much like the words in Hebrews 6:12, "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."
I can tell you that this verse definitely rings true in my life. I have not been the poster girl for patience. Quite the opposite, actually. My heart has grown cold and my patience for people and their idiocy has disappeared. My temper has become short-fused, and this is all because I have not maintained a healthy prayer life with my God and Savior. My goal is to start reading my Bible more consistently in order to gain more peace of mind and to remind myself that God is in charge of my life and knows all that will happen, even if I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants into uncharted waters. Slowly but surely I hope to regain my composure so that I can strengthen my relationship with God and so that I am a more pleasant person to be around. When I can sense that people would prefer to not be in my presence, it's time for a change.
The next time you feel utterly defeated over your circumstances and feel that God doesn't have your back, listen to the song Before the Morning by Josh Wilson. The lyrics are pretty powerful and serve as a good reminder that tomorrow is another day and joy is coming for those who believe that Jesus is their Savior.
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now
Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer
And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
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