Pieces of a Puzzle

I don't even know myself at all

I thought I would be happy by now

The more I try to push it

I realise you've gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen

~Paramore

In a sense, our lives are just pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that we have to put together. The only thing is that we don't know what the final image looks like; only God does. All we can do is see where certain pieces fall into place and where others aren't actually a part of our puzzle at all.
This week a few pieces have fallen into place, while others have been taken out of the equation. It's amazing to see God at work in my life, even though I have no idea what the final product is going to be. I am sure that I am meant to be working on the Upper Delaware again this summer. It's almost like my own personal Ninevah and God is giving me another chance this summer to minister to those in need. Sure, I spent the whole year trying to runaway in a sense by applying to any exercise physiology position under the sun, but I'm clearly meant to return. That became very apparent after what happened today. A position in research that I had been attempting to acquire since last February will be vacant again soon and I was asked if I would be interested. If it was me last year, I would have totally gone for it, despite having prior obligations along the river. This year is different, though. Since I've already committed to working on the Upper Delaware, I didn't want to leave those people high and dry just to follow my own desires. Also, when analyzing the timing of everything, it's almost as if God was purposely blocking me taking the research job. That could be for any number of reasons between I'm meant to be on the river to I'm not meant to be at that research job. Regardless, I opted to step out in faith and trust God so I turned down the research job, even though it's what I've always wanted to do with my degree.
Along with discussing it with a few friends, going to Hillsong in NYC definitely helped solidify this fact that my decision to turn down a job offer was the right choice to make. One of the songs that the worship team sang was "Oceans," which is a beautiful song all about relinquishing control and allowing God to lead us. The lyrics that really spoke to me were the following:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

For the first time in a long time, I actually feel like where I am in life is where I'm meant to be, even though I'm sure it doesn't make much sense to outsiders. I'm thankful that my brothers and sisters in Christ understand the decisions I've made because I know people within the field of exercise physiology totally don't get what I'm doing with my life and are probably wondering why a promising young student gave up a perfect opportunity to further her career in exchange for a job that doesn't exactly pay well and is only a five month gig. It's times like this I'm thankful I answer to God and not man. My only response to anybody who asks would be to turn to Proverbs 19:21, which says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." I can plan all I want and desire anything in the world, but if it doesn't line up with the purpose God has for my life, those puzzle pieces just aren't going to fit into the picture.