Recap, Hillsong NYC & Central Park Solidarity Run for Boston

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." ~Romans 12:15

To be honest, this week I haven't felt much of anything. I think I just kind of emotionally shutdown and was in a state of numbness in order to withstand the bombardment of stories about the bombing in Boston this week. I lived in my own little bubble taking in articles and blogs from news sources, runners, and spectators who had either witnessed the bombing, were impacted by it in someway, or felt the need to offer and express their personal insight on the matter. I scoured the internet for information and unfortunately came across some rather gruesome pictures. I think what bothered me most was the fact that these pictures didn't immediately cause me to want to vomit, because they should have. I think that's when I determined that my emotional system just sort of shutoff so that I wouldn't overreact in any sort of fashion. I just was and I absorbed information like a sponge.
When I first heard about the bombing, I was saddened. That sadness never turned to rage or anger, but I did kind of take the attack personally because of the potential impact it could have on the racing community in the future. Runners need their spectators and this could change our interaction with our beloved cheerleaders. I was also struck by the fact that it so easily could have been me there in the crowd or running. This became more apparent throughout the week when I had a discussion with a friend of mine who had come to watch me run my first marathon in 2007. Amby Burfoot being another one who was stopped short of finishing, and heard that one of the Runner's World editors was just up the street from the blast and ran the other way as a means of escape. Again, it's just crazy to think how easily it could have potentially been me, and my heart goes out to those who lost their lives or limbs. They have been constantly in my thoughts and prayers this week, especially when I go out for my runs.
He said, "I was upset because that could have been us and our crew and you and your dad running. It's scary then you think about the runners. You know from first hand experience you're exhausted and feel like your safety is the finish line because you get to rest after that. It took the safe element out of running." I couldn't have stated it better myself. On top of that conversation, another runner friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a year emailed me an account from the experience of her friend's running guide. They were among those unable to finish the marathon because roadblocks were setup at the end of Boyleston Street after the explosion. I also read about
In an attempt to regain some bit of normalcy in my life and not think so much, I ventured into the Big Apple to attend Hillsong NYC at the Roseland Ballroom to hear Brian Houston speak. I'm very thankful that I went because what he spoke about was exactly what I needed to hear in the wake of the events of the past week. His whole sermon was based on lyrics from the song "Glorious Ruins." The following is the chorus from the song:

Let the ruins come to life

In the beauty of Your name

Rising up from the ashes

God forever You reign

Pastor Houston spoke about how we all face some sort of ruin in our lives, whether it be relational, financial, or otherwise. His point was that God can bring glory out of the ruins in our lives. Proof of this was the fact that Jesus came down from glory to die on a cross for us. He also sited Ezra 9:9, as an Old Testament example of God's temple becoming ruins, which says, "For we are slaves. Yet our God has not forsaken us in our slavery, but has extended to us his steadfast love before the kings of Persia, to grant us some reviving to set up the house of our God, to repair its ruins, and to give us protection in Judea and Jerusalem." The temple that was in ruins was able to be revived and rebuilt by God. Another fitting example of how God can bring glory out of ruin involves the story of Lazarus. He had been dead for four days, but to bring glory to God, Jesus brought him back to life. If Jesus can bring a dead man back to life, he surely can rebuild whatever might be broken in your life. 

This message seemed very fitting after the events on Monday. Boston and the running community were shaken to the core by the bombing. Yet God can help rebuild the lives of those impacted if they only turn to Him and surrender their lives. Relinquishing control is the hardest part, but God has already proven in the past what He is capable of restoring after disaster strikes, and it tends to be better than what once was.

To cap off my day in the Big Apple, I went to Central Park around 2:30 in the afternoon. I had read on the Runner's World website and on Facebook that Charlie Lyons had arranged a solidarity run for Boston and that runners could meet at the Tavern on the Green. For an event that was only learned about via social media and word of mouth, there was a great turn out. Numerous NYC running club members and coaches were present. Even Mary Wittenberg, the CEO of NYRR made an appearance. The first 160 runners got a commemorative hat that said NY <3 B, and I was thankful to come away with one. After a couple of speeches via megaphone and a moment of silence, the runners took off, heading south, to do a loop of Central Park.
I felt pretty good for the first half, but began to struggle once I reached the hill on the north end of the park. I can't remember the last time I ran six miles without stopping, so it was God, true grit and thinking of those in Boston that got me back to Tavern on the Green. That and people commenting on my awesome pants. I figure if I can't get people's attention with my running speed, I might as well dress like a ridiculous fool and standout in my own special way. The finish was awesome for the fact that some of the runners who had already finished created a makeshift chute in order to high five people as they completed their run. It's definitely not everyday that I can say I got high fives from Charlie Lyons and Mary Wittenberg at the end of a run.

Pray for Boston and the Running Community

Photo courtesy of Linda Brain Beck

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:31

I'm sure most of you have heard the news by now, but two bombs went off near the finish line of the Boston Marathon today. This saddened me deeply on many levels. The fact that a senseless tragedy took place that injured and killed innocent people is almost unfathomable. My heart breaks for those impacted by this act of terror in Boston. There are no words to heal the physical and emotional wounds, but I would suggest reading Psalm 34:18, which says, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." God is the only one who can bring any sort of comfort after such an event as this.
Another reason this tragedy saddens me is the fact that it happened at a running event.  I understand the immense effort needed to qualify for the prestigious Boston marathon and the numerous amount of miles and hours necessary to train. This should have been a day of celebration for everybody, but instead it was marred by tragedy. Running is a peaceful sport, not one full of any type of violence. Sure there are fierce rivalries, but at the end of the day, we're all friends. Comradery is the essence of running. Just look at Mo Farah and Galen Rupp, or Kara Goucher and Shalane Flanagan; two fierce rivals who train together and have become friends. (The greatest moment out of today's marathon involved Kara crossing the finish line and immediately asking how Shalane finished). Those of us who are runners understand that the running community is more like a big family than anything else. If something bad happens to one runner, it's almost like it happened to us. Runners stick by each other through good and bad times, helping out when others are in need. Although many consider running an individual endeavor, it truly transcends boundaries and every runner looks out for another during races. I have so many fond memories from running and have built friendships along the way. I remember back in the 8th grade I was the only girl who would be running the mile at the local Hershey track & field meet and numerous members of the high school distance team decided to band together and join me for my mile run on the track, some of whom might have been wearing jeans if my memory serves me correctly. I also befriended members of other teams and although we were fierce rivals on the track or cross country course, we would laugh together and warmup together when we weren't racing. After high school, I have encountered many friendly runners who enjoyed my running outfits by telling me that I looked like an Easter egg and who helped me conquer obstacles during the Tough Mudder.
All that we can do now is pray. Pray for the runners. Pray for the spectators. Pray for the first responders. Pray for the doctors. We should even pray for those who are responsible, as difficult as that is to fathom. Everybody was created by God, and unfortunately sin has twisted the way people function in this world. It makes me long for my heavenly home because I don't belong here on this Earth. Philippians 3:20 states, "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ." Events like the tragedy in Boston make it even more apparent that this world is slowly going to hell in a handbasket. I can't wait for the return of Jesus and life is what's described in Revelation 21:4 ~ "'He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'"
For now, us runners must band together and persevere. We can't allow this tragedy to impact our love of running or our desire to run the prestigious race in Boston. If we alter our thinking, we let the terrorists win. As runners, we must remember that what we do best is endure. We endure pain and suffering to achieve our dreams of finishing 5Ks, 10Ks, half marathons, marathons, ultras, trail races, and any race in between. We know what it's like to not know if we can take another step, but then we do because we refuse to give up on our dreams. So whether you're in shape or not, if you consider yourself a runner, I urge you to get outside and run tomorrow. Run for those who were impacted in Boston. Run for those who can no longer run. Run for those who may never be able to run the same way ever again. Whatever you do, make sure you run, whether it's 100 yards or 100 miles. Once a runner, always a runner!

Pieces of a Puzzle

I don't even know myself at all

I thought I would be happy by now

The more I try to push it

I realise you've gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen

~Paramore

In a sense, our lives are just pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that we have to put together. The only thing is that we don't know what the final image looks like; only God does. All we can do is see where certain pieces fall into place and where others aren't actually a part of our puzzle at all.
This week a few pieces have fallen into place, while others have been taken out of the equation. It's amazing to see God at work in my life, even though I have no idea what the final product is going to be. I am sure that I am meant to be working on the Upper Delaware again this summer. It's almost like my own personal Ninevah and God is giving me another chance this summer to minister to those in need. Sure, I spent the whole year trying to runaway in a sense by applying to any exercise physiology position under the sun, but I'm clearly meant to return. That became very apparent after what happened today. A position in research that I had been attempting to acquire since last February will be vacant again soon and I was asked if I would be interested. If it was me last year, I would have totally gone for it, despite having prior obligations along the river. This year is different, though. Since I've already committed to working on the Upper Delaware, I didn't want to leave those people high and dry just to follow my own desires. Also, when analyzing the timing of everything, it's almost as if God was purposely blocking me taking the research job. That could be for any number of reasons between I'm meant to be on the river to I'm not meant to be at that research job. Regardless, I opted to step out in faith and trust God so I turned down the research job, even though it's what I've always wanted to do with my degree.
Along with discussing it with a few friends, going to Hillsong in NYC definitely helped solidify this fact that my decision to turn down a job offer was the right choice to make. One of the songs that the worship team sang was "Oceans," which is a beautiful song all about relinquishing control and allowing God to lead us. The lyrics that really spoke to me were the following:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

For the first time in a long time, I actually feel like where I am in life is where I'm meant to be, even though I'm sure it doesn't make much sense to outsiders. I'm thankful that my brothers and sisters in Christ understand the decisions I've made because I know people within the field of exercise physiology totally don't get what I'm doing with my life and are probably wondering why a promising young student gave up a perfect opportunity to further her career in exchange for a job that doesn't exactly pay well and is only a five month gig. It's times like this I'm thankful I answer to God and not man. My only response to anybody who asks would be to turn to Proverbs 19:21, which says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." I can plan all I want and desire anything in the world, but if it doesn't line up with the purpose God has for my life, those puzzle pieces just aren't going to fit into the picture.