Trusting God

Proverbs 3:5 states that we should, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." After what happened during my run yesterday, that's about all I can do at this time. You see, yesterday was my first official day of unemployment after my seasonal position at a campground/river rafting venue along the Upper Delaware came to a close. I allowed myself to sleep in until about 9:30am and decided to start things off right with a short 2.5 mile run on my usual route. As I was running, I kept thinking about how I needed to make sure I did this each morning before I could talk myself out of the exercise because God has blessed me with two functioning legs, two arms, and lungs, so I shouldn't let my body go to waste and be slothful just because I lacked motivation. I was blessed with the ability to run, so there was no reason not to do so.
As I reached the top of the last particularly long hill on a scenic dirt road, I took in the beauty of the changing leaves. I was thrilled to be able to see God's work on my run, which was enough of a motivator to keep getting me up on each subsequent morning of my new found unemployment. I figured it would be nice to get in a routine to keep me from pitying myself for not having a job at the moment. I took my time on the slight downhill until the road leveled out a bit along the orchard owned by a family friend. I was enjoying the rhythm of my run even though I'm a bit out of practice since I had only started running consistently the week before in the hopes of running the 5K in Bethlehem as a part of the Runner's World festival in a couple weeks.
Once I began the steep downgrade after the orchard, I noticed that my ankle felt a little tight. I assumed it was because I wasn't accustomed to the impact of my stride or the uneven terrain. I made the unfortunate mistake of continuing down the hill, and two steps later, my right ankle gave out, I heard a distinct "snap" and I found myself sprawled in the dirt and rocks on the hill. Given my runner's instinct, my first reaction was to stop my watch at 18 minutes and 15 seconds because, gee, I was no longer running. I then sat up thinking, "Did that really just happen?" It wasn't until I glanced at my ankle that I began to have a sinking feeling. It had already swelled up like a balloon within 30 seconds of the incident, which couldn't possibly be a good sign. I got up and attempted to hop on one foot, but the hill was too steep, so I did what the exercise physiologist in me knew was foolish, but what I knew was my last mobility resort, and began to slowly walk on my injured ankle to a neighbor's house. Thankfully he was home and could drive me home because it would have taken me at least an hour to make it the last mile or so to my house. I called my mom, who kindly left work to take me to the ER.
My goal in the ER was to be as cheerful as possible. Yes, I had a bum ankle, but that didn't mean I needed to bring everybody else down. And the truth of the matter was, even though it was severely swollen and I couldn't put much pressure on it, my ankle didn't really hurt. My high tolerance of pain was on my side yesterday and I had lovely chats with each hospital staff member I encountered. Following x-rays, it was determined that my ankle wasn't broken, but I did have ligament damage. I texted my former college roommate who has a degree in athletic training and is well versed in my running stride, and she determined that I snapped my ATF (no, not the Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms) ligament, due to an inversion ankle sprain. When I heard that, it all made sense. I am the queen of inversion in my running mechanics, which I'll admit are awful. I land on the outside of my foot and roll in on my ankle, which is the perfect environment for the injury I wound up with yesterday.
Needless to say, I'm now on crutches for the next 2-4 weeks depending on how I heal, if I was employed, I wouldn't be allowed to work for the next 8 days, and I'll need to regain range of motion and hopefully reteach myself how to run once I'm healed completely.
When I look back on the situation, the timing is perfect because I'm unemployed to begin with. Also, on my run, I had prayed and hoped to be more joyful during this unemployment phase. I know it sounds weird, but I'm actually not all that bummed to be on crutches. I think this will teach me to overcome obstacles that might blindside me down the road. Another thing, I would much rather the physical pain of this year as opposed to the emotional pain I was dealing with in October 2011. Physical pain is much more concrete and easier to accept, even though I'm not totally sure why God chose yesterday as the day I injure myself and can't run for real, as opposed to my own personal excuses. Regardless of the reason, I am determined to trust God's will and purpose for my life and continue to move forward in a direction that I hope He approves of for my future.