You Can't Bargain With God

There was a visiting speaker at church today by the name of Jim Knakal. He is raising funds to become a missionary in Germany, but that was not my main interest like some might assume. The message that he presented to the congregation was something that I really needed to hear and it helped me realize that I needed to change my ways.
The focus of his sermon was on Romans 12:1, which states, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." Mr. Knakal spoke about what a sacrifice means in biblical terms, which boils down to being an atonement for sins to God or an offering of thankfulness. The emphasis was on the fact that any sacrifice should be done willingly and wholeheartedly, with no strings attached. He presented us with a hypothetical situation involving a man living in Old Testament times bringing a lamb for sacrifice to the rabbi, but determining for the rabbi how the sacrifice should be utilized. Mr. Knakal stated that, in essence, this was what we sometimes do when we approach God with our issues. We want God's guidance, but we lay out the guidelines. This is no way to be a living sacrifice to the Holy God. This is self-absorbed control over all life matters, and then we wonder why we fail or "plans" don't work out.
Mr. Knakal instead said that we should be more like the Prodigal Son. Once he had blown all of his funds on foolish worldly desires, the Prodigal Son realized what he had done and rather going to his father for more money, he went seeking to be his father's servant because he felt unworthy to be deemed his son. This is a demonstration of being living sacrifice, and something we should all strive to model in our interactions with God the Father. We need to understand and realize that He is the provider of bread and water and that we must submit and serve Him to fulfill our purpose.
What I really needed to hear, though, was when Jim Knakal said, "You just don't bargain with God if you're going to offer yourself as a sacrifice." He was speaking in terms of how those who feel called by God to become missionaries might respond. Some might be like, "God I really want to serve you, but I don't want to go to this or that region of the world, and I really don't want to have to deal with rats or snakes or spiders."
That's when it hit me. We need to remember that God chooses how to use us and that we can't choose our own purpose from God. In a sense, this is how I approached my job application process. I've been praying for a full time position within exercise physiology, but I've been narrowing the criteria for God by picking and choosing locations to apply. I've stayed along the east coast because I don't feel like moving across the country, completely uprooting my life and starting over. At least that's what I did up until today. Today I began broadening my search and applying to any full time position within my field no matter what the location was. I applied in Florida, Texas, Georgia, and Idaho, some of which are states that I didn't really want to apply to, but felt that I had to stop bargaining with God.
A few weeks back, I was visiting Saucon Community Church and a woman there said something to me that really struck me. She said that she felt that God must have a very specific job in mind for me since I'm struggling so much to locate a job in a field that supposedly has plenty of jobs available. That comment combined with today's message makes me feel like I've been limiting where God can potentially place me for His purpose. It's practically urging me to throw myself into the unknown, trusting that God will utilize me as He sees fit. So here's to no longer bargaining with the Almighty God.

Submission

I think most people cringe at the word submission. It's a word that potentially detracts from their pride or supposed authority in this world. Merriam-Webster even defines the word as: "an act of submitting to the authority or control of another." What many may not realize is that submission is key to their Christian faith and relationship with Jesus.
We are taught to worship God and to give Him all praise. This in itself is submission. We must humble ourselves to approach the Cross of Christ, realizing that we are broken humans in need of a Savior. Without submission, there is no way to accept Christ into our hearts. Those who can't submit choose to covet material objects and seek pleasure to fill the void that only submission to Christ can begin to fill.
Some might be afraid to submit because it means a loss of control. What we need to all realize, though, is that we aren't in control in the first place. God created each and every one of us for a special purpose. Without making the decision to follow the ways of Jesus, we are left to aimlessly wander through existence on Earth. I'm not saying that once you become a Christian life will make sense. But the beginning of a true relationship with Christ involves submission and turning over control to Jesus.
What I came to realize today was that submitting is actually a form of worship. Submitting to Jesus is only the beginning, though. Being Christians means that we are servants to the Lord and that we are called to serve those around us. This is sometimes difficult because our pride tells us that we are better than other people and we subconsciously refuse to help in certain situations because we just don't feel like doing nice things for particular individuals. Selfishness plagues us and hinders our ability to submit and serve others. I'm slowly teaching myself to rid my life of this selfishness in order to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.
Thankfully, Ephesians 5:21 has assisted in changing my perspective. This verse states, "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." In my personal opinion, this verse indicates that when we submit and serve other people, we are actually worshipping Jesus and giving Him glory. Worldly individuals are not likely to freely help others that they are friends with, let alone complete strangers or people that they don't care for. They choose to assist in situations where they will get something in return. As Christians, if we choose to serve others out of love even if we aren't fans of them, we shine a light into the darkness demonstrating that Jesus has control of our lives. This gives God the glory He deserves and helps us keep our eyes on Him instead of ourselves.
It won't always be easy, but over time, serving will become easier as it becomes a part of daily life. I plan on repeating Ephesians 5:21 to myself frequently in the future to remind myself that submitting to other people reveres Jesus. It will be the only way to keep selfishness from my heart and considerate to others in the future even if I find it difficult to interact with them. I must remember that everybody is a child of God and worth helping. Serving them all the best I can will help me stay grounded in my faith and the reality that God is in control and knows what is right for my life.

Trusting God

Proverbs 3:5 states that we should, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." After what happened during my run yesterday, that's about all I can do at this time. You see, yesterday was my first official day of unemployment after my seasonal position at a campground/river rafting venue along the Upper Delaware came to a close. I allowed myself to sleep in until about 9:30am and decided to start things off right with a short 2.5 mile run on my usual route. As I was running, I kept thinking about how I needed to make sure I did this each morning before I could talk myself out of the exercise because God has blessed me with two functioning legs, two arms, and lungs, so I shouldn't let my body go to waste and be slothful just because I lacked motivation. I was blessed with the ability to run, so there was no reason not to do so.
As I reached the top of the last particularly long hill on a scenic dirt road, I took in the beauty of the changing leaves. I was thrilled to be able to see God's work on my run, which was enough of a motivator to keep getting me up on each subsequent morning of my new found unemployment. I figured it would be nice to get in a routine to keep me from pitying myself for not having a job at the moment. I took my time on the slight downhill until the road leveled out a bit along the orchard owned by a family friend. I was enjoying the rhythm of my run even though I'm a bit out of practice since I had only started running consistently the week before in the hopes of running the 5K in Bethlehem as a part of the Runner's World festival in a couple weeks.
Once I began the steep downgrade after the orchard, I noticed that my ankle felt a little tight. I assumed it was because I wasn't accustomed to the impact of my stride or the uneven terrain. I made the unfortunate mistake of continuing down the hill, and two steps later, my right ankle gave out, I heard a distinct "snap" and I found myself sprawled in the dirt and rocks on the hill. Given my runner's instinct, my first reaction was to stop my watch at 18 minutes and 15 seconds because, gee, I was no longer running. I then sat up thinking, "Did that really just happen?" It wasn't until I glanced at my ankle that I began to have a sinking feeling. It had already swelled up like a balloon within 30 seconds of the incident, which couldn't possibly be a good sign. I got up and attempted to hop on one foot, but the hill was too steep, so I did what the exercise physiologist in me knew was foolish, but what I knew was my last mobility resort, and began to slowly walk on my injured ankle to a neighbor's house. Thankfully he was home and could drive me home because it would have taken me at least an hour to make it the last mile or so to my house. I called my mom, who kindly left work to take me to the ER.
My goal in the ER was to be as cheerful as possible. Yes, I had a bum ankle, but that didn't mean I needed to bring everybody else down. And the truth of the matter was, even though it was severely swollen and I couldn't put much pressure on it, my ankle didn't really hurt. My high tolerance of pain was on my side yesterday and I had lovely chats with each hospital staff member I encountered. Following x-rays, it was determined that my ankle wasn't broken, but I did have ligament damage. I texted my former college roommate who has a degree in athletic training and is well versed in my running stride, and she determined that I snapped my ATF (no, not the Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms) ligament, due to an inversion ankle sprain. When I heard that, it all made sense. I am the queen of inversion in my running mechanics, which I'll admit are awful. I land on the outside of my foot and roll in on my ankle, which is the perfect environment for the injury I wound up with yesterday.
Needless to say, I'm now on crutches for the next 2-4 weeks depending on how I heal, if I was employed, I wouldn't be allowed to work for the next 8 days, and I'll need to regain range of motion and hopefully reteach myself how to run once I'm healed completely.
When I look back on the situation, the timing is perfect because I'm unemployed to begin with. Also, on my run, I had prayed and hoped to be more joyful during this unemployment phase. I know it sounds weird, but I'm actually not all that bummed to be on crutches. I think this will teach me to overcome obstacles that might blindside me down the road. Another thing, I would much rather the physical pain of this year as opposed to the emotional pain I was dealing with in October 2011. Physical pain is much more concrete and easier to accept, even though I'm not totally sure why God chose yesterday as the day I injure myself and can't run for real, as opposed to my own personal excuses. Regardless of the reason, I am determined to trust God's will and purpose for my life and continue to move forward in a direction that I hope He approves of for my future.