Incessant Planning Annihilates Faith

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." ~2 Corinthians 5:7

Planning seems to be a way of life in the 21st century. There's wedding planning, retirement planning, travel planning, etc. Everything under the sun seems to require a plan these days in order to maintain the status quo of society. Unfortunately, plans do not always go as planned. That's when people start asking if there's a backup plan to your original plan. And that's about when my mind decides that it wants to explode. What if I don't want to plan? What if I choose to fly by the seat of my pants with minimal knowledge about what my future holds? What if I opt to live by faith and leave the planning up to God? You know, the Big Man upstairs who CREATED the universe, myself included. I was talking with a friend the other night who put it perfectly. She said something along the lines of, "Constantly planning is like Peter making sure he wore a lifejacket when he stepped out of the boat." Where's the faith? Where's the trust? If we say that we believe God is in charge of our lives, why not relinquish complete control and embrace not knowing every intricate detail of the future? 

I've had planning phases in my life, so I'm as guilty as the next person. I planned my college courses to a T, along with my cross country roadtrip back in 2010. I enjoyed both experiences, but there were unforeseen circumstances that I couldn't predict. I had to eventually put my trust in something and someone outside of myself. I needed to allow God to lead me rather than place demands on Him, expecting everything to work out. See, the problem with humans is that we are flawed. We don't know best, and we are limited in our vision. God is not confined by time, making Him the perfect one to go to with our lives. He knows what's in our past and future before we even reach it. Our job is to have faith and stop being so stubborn. I'm not saying that we should never be prepared, but we need to stop assuming we know what's best for our lives. And we need to accept not knowing.

On a whim back in February, I applied for a work exchange program in St. John in the Virgin Islands. I've never been there, but it seemed like a potential cool experience. I put it out of my mind, but to my complete surprise, I got an acceptance email in May. My first response was excitement, but then my mind began racing and wondering. Would I have enough money to afford food and not getting paid for a month? Would I be able to afford the cost of a flight? Would I be able to afford transportation to the resort? Was I just being foolish to up and go to the Virgin Islands in October once I complete my summer job? I was trying to plan the unknown future, which is impossible. Finally, I began to realize that it was potentially a once in a lifetime experience. And then I remembered the other thing that popped into my head as I originally read the acceptance email. "Oceans" by Hillsong United had come to mind, specifically the line, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me." These words spoke volumes to me. Not only was God calling on me to trust Him, but it perfectly fit my situation. I was literally being called to an island in the middle of the ocean that I've never set foot on in my life. How could I possibly say no after such confirmation? So I immediately booked a flight and will be flying to this island the end of September to see what God has in store for me. Sure, some might think it's foolish. Others may assume that I have an inability to plan financially for the future. But I'm not here to garner the approval of people. I'm here to live for God. I'm here to show compassion to those who don't deserve it. I'm here to comfort the brokenhearted and serve others to the best of my abilities. 

As much as I try to convince myself that I'm in charge of my life, I need to remind myself that I'm not. Situations change. People change. Only God is the same now and forever. It's time that I stop trying to make sense of everything because the truth of the matter is, life isn't meant to make sense. A + B does not always equal C. It isn't rational and there are many things that I can't ever wrap my head around. But my faith in Jesus is what gets me through each and everyday. It's where I put my trust when things don't add up. Sure, I still need to grow like everyone else and release certain situations to God COMPLETELY. But I know I'm making progress. I'm not as stressed as I used to be and I can go with the flow more naturally because I know my future is in the hands of my Creator.

Leading an Unconventional Life

I wanna be Your hands & feet
I wanna be Your voice every time I speak
I wanna run to the ones in need
In the name of Jesus 

I wanna give my life away, all for Your kingdom’s sake
Shine a light in the darkest place
In the name of Jesus

~Send Me Out by Fee

I'm not one that typically conforms to society. This might be more apparent on the days that I decide wearing neon colors is a remarkably good idea. But it's also true when it comes to decisions that I've made about how to lead my life for the past year and a half. I've applied and interviewed for jobs within the field of exercise physiology, and even for a soccer statistics position, but still have not obtained that "real" job that some people insist on questioning me about. I'm not saying that I will never use the degree I earned in college, but I do believe that at this point in time, I'm not meant to utilize it. God certainly has different plans for how I conduct my life. Although I occasionally wish that I led a "normal" life like everybody else, I think I have finally realized that I'm meant to live unconventionally. I'm that square peg that won't fit into the round hole of life.
Two weeks ago I found myself sitting in the Best Buy Theater in Times Square hoping to hear Brian Houston preach at Hillsong. As fate would have it, Carl Lentz was actually leading the 12:30 service, but what he spoke about was something that I really needed to hear, especially heading into a Samaritan's Purse rebuild. At some point during the message, Pastor Carl mentioned how we all need to stop being so focused on the cultural view of success and rather focus on the biblical view of success. Pastor Lentz said that if we compared Jesus against the cultural view of success, it would appear that he was an abject failure, when in all honesty, Jesus was successful beyond anybody's wildest dreams. He also emphasized that God's plan is typically contrary to our earthly plan and that we needed to start viewing God's interruptions as invitations.
After the sermon, I began thinking about my own life. While I enjoyed success in the cultural sense during college, ever since I graduated, God has been interrupting and shaping my life to fit His plan as opposed to mine. To outsiders, I might appear to have failed because I don't hold a full time job, which is why I choose to focus on what the Bible says, as opposed to what the world says. If you look at Matthew 4:19-20, it states, "And he said to them, 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.' Immediately they left their nets and followed him." This is the scene where Jesus called Simon Peter and Andrew to be disciples. It's remarkable how they demonstrated obedience to Jesus by opting to leave their careers in order to follow him. This passage has reassured me about my decision to essentially sacrifice my career in favor of continually returning to the campground I have worked at since the summer of 2008, along with volunteering with Samaritan's Purse when I am able.
Culturally speaking, this seems like a crazy lifestyle because it means that I am either living with my parents, on friend's couches, church floors, in an RV in the middle of winter, or in my car. Basing my life off of what God commands, though, I feel like I'm on the right track. I'm willing to kill the desire in my soul to be comfortable. I'm willing to answer the call to be God's hands and feet all over the country because I was created to serve those around us. Choosing to be selfless in a world that almost demands you be selfish is certainly unconventional, and I'm perfectly content with having the world feel that I'm obscure and peculiar. Sure the prying questions can become overwhelming at times, but that's when I have the opportunity to share with people that I'm content serving God through Samaritan's Purse or befriending misfits that I meet along the way. The biggest blessing is when God reveals to me that He is shining through my life into those around me. I can't tell you how amazing it felt to have someone pull me aside in a crowded bar to tell me that they think it's awesome that I choose to spend time helping others and that my life is cool. This happened to me last week and I totally gave God all the credit because I had only made two passing comments in the matter of six hours about Samaritan's Purse, and it was proof that He was shining through my life because it was a completely unwarranted complement that came hours after any mention of Samaritan's Purse.
I feel I'm one to reflect St. Francis of Assissi when it comes to evangelism. He is credited with the quote, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." I do not believe in berating people with what is right and wrong. I believe it is important to love people and to build relationships and trust based upon common interests that allow openings for me to share my faith. But the most important way to witness to someone is by living out your faith, not just preaching at people. Anybody can talk the talk, but not everybody can walk the walk, and the walk is way more important than the talk. (Say that five times fast)
The long and the short of it is that I believe I am currently living my life exactly the way God wants me to right now. He has created me for this moment in time to be friends with the people I'm friends with and have exposure to certain groups of people because He believes that He can make an impact through me. If that means hanging out in bars dancing to the Bee Gees, dragging canoes in the pouring rain, delivering icecream, driving drunk customers to campsites, stacking firewood, or sweeping a camp store, I'll do it because in all that I do, I am serving Jesus. This list might spark controversy for some, but I'm a firm believer in reaching those who are so greatly lost in this world. Luke 5:30-32 states, "And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, 'Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?' And Jesus answered them, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.'" I am even more firmly convinced of this with the Mysteryland Festival right around the corner, which has hindered my ability to serve with Samaritan's Purse down in the south with tornado and flood cleanup. Though my heart yearned to be able to serve in those areas, I have no doubt that I'm right where I'm supposed to be working at a campground that is partnering with the facility hosting Mysteryland.
We all have different callings in life and different groups of people that we are meant to interact with to make an impact for the Gospel. Not everybody's walk will look the same because it was tailored made for a specific individual, but we should always reflect Christ in the long run because we are made in His image. To the world, my life doesn't make much sense. I'll let you in on a little secret, though. It doesn't make much sense to me either. I sometimes question what the purpose of all of it is, but I don't doubt that God has a bigger plan for my unconventional life. So I will continue to entertain the customers at the campground, go into New York City to either visit Hillsong or go to a concert with friends, and serve with Samaritan's Purse. And the next time you're confused by what exactly it is that I do, just ask questions. I'd be more than happy to go into more detail and regale you with tales of my adventures serving God. Just remember, not everything in life is supposed to make sense when measured against the cultural norms.

Self Worth Comes From Within

"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." ~1 Peter 3:4

 

Have you ever woken up and had a song stuck in your head for absolutely no reason? That happened to me today, and I haven't been able to shake the feeling that there actually was a reason behind it. The song that was on my mind this morning was "Young & Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey. It caught me by surprise because I really don't listen to her music at all and that is seriously the only song I know by her. It was part of the soundtrack for The Great Gatsby when it was in theaters last year, but I never actually went to see the movie either. In the past few months, the song popped up on my Pandora radio, but I haven't gone out of my way to listen to the song, until today.

You see, the very premise of the song is a woman's yearning to know if she will still be loved when she's no longer young and beautiful. Let that sink in for a minute. Some of you might brush the idea off, but this is a very real reality for many women. Satan has so influenced culture and perception and fooled women into truly believing that their worth is completely wrapped up in their beauty. Satan infuses this concept into every bit of media that constantly bombards women of all ages today. Billboards, commercials, movies, music, Instagram, you name it, the main idea conveyed is that you are only accepted if you have a certain body type and have the perfect facial features. If that begins to fade, we're told that it's almost our duty to make sure that we either have surgery, inject collagen or botox, paint on a pretty face, or starve ourselves in order to continue to be accepted. My heart breaks for any and all women that have fallen for this popular lie. I pity them and the effort they feel they must put into looking beautiful and presentable because this idea comes straight from the pit of hell. It's meant to make women insecure so that they doubt their worth. If they feel unworthy, they'll feel unloved, which could hinder their ability to accept Jesus' unconditional. This sense of unworthiness will undermine their very eternal salvation.

What we as Christian women must do is turn to Scripture. Within the Bible, Peter writes that our beauty is no external, but comes from within. Our countenance and spirit never change or fades over time, and that is where God tells us to find our worth. When we begin to believe the truth of the Bible, no longer will we feel the need to question whether or not we will be loved when we are no longer young and beautiful. An unchanging internal spirit means that part of us stays the same, and that is the part of us that people should fall in love with. Our acceptance and received love should not be based on our looks, but what's inside our hearts. It's more important to be a loving and compassionate soul than the most externally beautiful person. I hope and pray that you'll recognize that your personality has way more to do with your soul than your looks and that you'll find a way to love yourself, flaws and all. Don't believe the lies within the media. You are beautiful regardless of what anybody tells you about your appearance. And if you feel that a friend might be falling for these lies, encourage her and tell her that she's beautiful. Reinforce her with the Word of God, which is Truth because that's what we all yearn to hear at the end of the day.

Starting Over

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead." ~Philippians 3:13

Admittedly, having to start afresh in any part of life is a little scary, difficult, and potentially frustrating. In my life, I'm determined to finally get back into running. It's something I used to enjoy so much, with the occasional love/hate relationship, but typically I loved to compete and would push myself. But ever since running my last marathon back in 2011, I seem to have lost all motivation to put forth any effort in that particular area of my life.
Today I went for a two mile run with Chrissy at a half mile dirt track. It was only the third time I've run since July, which is kind of pathetic. But you know what? Despite some aches in my knee, that thankfully weren't too severe, I enjoyed myself. That could be because I started out the first few strides running like Phoebe from Friends, but I also think it's because I was motivated to make a change in my life. I know that being relatively sedentary is not good for my health. I have the degree to prove that knowledge. Yet mentally, I just have had no desire to run. Like at all. I think what changed, though, was the fact that I've seen former competitors enjoy recent success. One just got a half marathon PR and another was the top female finisher in a duathlon. This made me think that if they can still be enjoying running, then maybe so can I. I just need to go into it with the right mindset. Like Paul wrote in Philippians, I need to look forward. I need to not only strain towards not the goal of Jesus, but new running goals. If I look at my past success, I will give up on the spot. It'll take months, even years to attempt to achieve what I used to back in high school and the beginning of college. What I need to focus on is the here and now. I need to be thankful for the gift of running and that I was able to run two miles continuously for 18:54. I can't think of how I used to be able to run that same distance in 12:20.
This is where not looking back is key. That's actually an essential rule in running, not looking at what's behind you. I remember back in the 8th grade I was in 3rd place and 400 yards from the finish line in a cross country invitational. I kept pushing up the last little incline, determined to improve my position. About fifteen yards from the finish line I was able to move into second place and receive a silver medal for my efforts. The interesting realization came later, once I analyzed a picture that my dad had taken. It shows me at that 400 yard mark from the finish. In the foreground was the leader, but behind her, you could distinctly see the girl who was in second place. What caught my eye was the position of her head. I was looking at the back of her head, rather than her face. Instead of focusing on the finish line, she was concerned with what was behind her, which just so happened to be me. By losing focus and looking back, I believe that's how I gained my edge and was able to pass her before the finish line.
Not only can this concept be applied to running, it can be applied to life in general. We need to not look at our past mistakes constantly or we will never truly appreciate Jesus and the grace of God. It's important to pay attention to the here and now once we've been redeemed by our Savior. Once we are born again, we are given that chance to start over fresh. Sanctification is a process and it's important to know how far we've come, but if we focus on our screw-ups, we'll never appreciate the full blessing of the forgiveness of sins by Jesus dying on the Cross. We must strive toward the perfecter of our faith and have Jesus be our ultimate guide and goal in life in order to finish well.
So in life and in running, appreciate the opportunity to start over again. Remember that you can overcome obstacles if you look ahead towards the finish line, whether it be a race or life. Once you start fresh, there should be no turning back!

Have Enough Faith to Follow When God Calls You

For me, this past month has been one big leap of faith and I have constantly had to rely on God for the answers. But I think it served as a good reminder to me that He is always in charge, down to the most miniscule details in this world. Luke 12:7 states, "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." This verse has stuck with me ever since the beginning of February when I flew to Chicago for a job interview. It was a job that I had absolutely no background in, but the hiring manager wanted to meet with me anyway, so on February 4th, I found myself on a plane bound for Chicago, despite snow accumulations the previous day. The snow began again as soon as I reached Chicago, but I was able to get to my interview on time thanks to a pre-ordered cab. The interview went well enough and served as good practice, but I was unsure how I felt about potentially working in this Midwestern city. It was still snowing outside, so I took a train back to Union Station in the heart of Chicago in the hopes to find a place with Wi-fi to see if there were flights out of Chicago that night since I didn't want to find myself stranded indefinitely in Chicago. As soon as I could get online, I noticed that all of the flights to LaGuardia were already cancelled, so I opted to not stress over it because the weather was out of my control. I was able to meet up with a friend from high school to attend trivia night at a local bar and then had a free place to spend the night.
The next morning I slept in a bit, but then began constantly checking the weather because the snow storm was not going away. My flight was scheduled for 5:52pm on February 5th, but my airline was already emailing me stating that it might be best for me to change my flight. At that time, my flight was still on time, so I did what any normal person would do; I headed out into the snow in search of the only known Nutella bar in the USA so I could enjoy a tasty breakfast. Since it was bitterly cold out, I opted out of any other sightseeing and headed back to my friend's apartment to back and get to O'Hare. When I got back, though, I realized that my flight was delayed until 7:22pm. With the extra time, I raided the kitchen for some Tostitoes and surfed the internet before it was time for me to go. When I went to print my boarding pass, though, I realized that my flight had gotten moved up to 6:52, so I headed out immediately. Getting off the train, I struck up a conversation with a woman who was bound for a meeting in Arkansas. We discussed healthcare and being patient in finding jobs, trusting that everything happens for a reason. It was a pleasant reminder to me that I have the ability to strike up a conversation with anybody, something that would come in rather handy for me later in the month, unbeknownst to me. Security went smoothly, though I was the random person that was pulled out of line to have their hands swabbed, but that did bless me with getting put in the expedited TSA line where I didn't have to take my shoes off. I wandered to my gate and sat there waiting to board. It got to be 6:40 and we still weren't boarding, so I was beginning to wonder if my flight would actually leave. About that time, the sign changed saying that the flight was delayed until 7:10. Around 7pm, all zones were called to board immediately and I was soon in the air back to New York, thanks be to God.
Upon landing at LaGuardia, I pulled out my hat and gloves in preparations for trudging to my car in long term parking. After a quick walk, I found it under some snow and a casing of ice. I went to turn it on in order to warm it up, but all I heard was "click click click." I thought to myself that that wasn't a good sign, but I distinctly remember not panicking. Instead, I opted to clean off my car and then try again, thinking maybe it was just because it was really cold. I tried again, but only my radio would turn on. Otherwise, my battery was dead. Again, though, I didn't panic. I made a mental note that I had AAA and could call them, but I didn't know if it'd be a hassle to get someone into long term parking at LaGuardia. Plus, it was 10:30pm, so I wasn't sure how long a wait it would be. So I did the next logical thing. I started to walk back to the terminal in search of a maintenance guy who could maybe jump my car. On my way back to the terminal, though, I came across a couple that was cleaning off their car. I went over and asked them for help and they thankfully obliged. Within 10 minutes, my car was running and I was on my way to East Stroudsburg. The fact didn't elude me that God was watching over me, and that if it wasn't for Him, I would be stuck. If my plane hadn't been delayed, there's no telling if anybody else would have been in that parking lot to help me out of my predicament.
Fast forward two weeks to me in North Carolina. I had spent ten days with friends in Atlantic Beach while I waited for a reply from the job in Chicago. I packed everything into my car and was two hours into my drive when I got a phone call from Jim telling me he had just gotten off the phone with someone from Samaritan's Purse saying that they could maybe use me as a team leader for the deployment in Moncks Corner, SC. My first reaction was to laugh and ask if he was kidding because I had no desire to be a team leader, but I also knew it was important to be obedient. I hesitated, though, because I had no work clothes or boots with me and was still waiting to hear back from the job interview. I found a Starbucks to email the guy who interviewed me, anticipating that he would get back to me within the hour because he was always on top of his communications. After an hour, though, I still had no response. After the second hour, I began to realize that I couldn't stay in limbo at Starbucks forever, so I called home to talk things over with my mom. The more I talked, the more I felt lead to go to South Carolina. I would be acting selfishly if I chose to come home just because I was tired of being away. She also said that maybe God wanted me to make a decision based on faith, not knowing what the outcome in Chicago would be. So I texted Jim and found myself driving back down to Morehead City. The closer I got there, though, the more I really wasn't sure about my decision. My mind was racing with "what ifs" and it just seemed a bit crazy to just up and go to South Carolina when I might have to move to Chicago in two weeks. And the more I thought about Chicago, the more anxious I got, secretly hoping I wouldn't get the job. I talked to Jim and Jeni on the phone that evening and they both reassured me that I would regret not going to South Carolina because I would be at home with nothing to do. Also, Jeni had formulated plans A-C for me. A being I didn't get the job, B being that I got the job and could fly back to NC to drive to PA, and C being that I negotiated a later start date for the job. With those options, there was no arguing. I was going to South Carolina. It made me think of Proverbs 16:9, which says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." I had never considered going to South Carolina because no overnight volunteers were being accepted, but God wanted me there. It was in the complete opposite direction of where I was headed, but God got me going towards the place He wanted me. Sure I questioned it at first, but I was willing to trust God and head on down to Moncks Corner, and what a blessing that was.
When I first arrived in Moncks Corner, I was pleasantly surprised to see some familiar faces of people I had served with before, such as Chaplain Alice, Amy, Dale, and Kenny. That evening we had a site management meeting and it came to my attention that I was never put on the list of people who were supposed to be in Moncks Corner, but Jim vouched for me and I was allowed to stay. It was just one of the many ways God's hand was in my adventure in South Carolina because if I looked at it from man's perspective, I didn't belong there and shouldn't have been there. That first night I caught up on life with Alice and befriended the other chaplain named Rose. I admitted to Alice that I hadn't been fully trusting God to lead me in my job search, which came to light when I told her about all I had done to apply and she boldly asked, "And where is God in this process?" Rose, who had just met me, said it looked like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and that I needed to let it go, so after a good cry and some prayers from them both, I went to bed that first night. The next morning, some of my anxiety had left me and I was able to enjoy a warm morning picking up sticks in someone's yard. I discussed with Jim the fact that I was still unsure about Chicago and still had not heard anything. He told me to focus on God and pray about the situation. I finally did hear back, and was pleasantly relieved to realize I didn't have to move to Chicago for work.

Over the course of the next 11 days, God blessed me abundantly thanks to my willingness to listen to Jesus' words in Matthew 16:24, which says, "...'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'" I was able to put aside my desire to go home and be comfortable and serve God where He needed me. Chaplain Alice felt bad that I only had a egg carton foam roll to sleep on, so she went out and bought me an air mattress to sleep on. Also, she happened to have a pair of polka dot rubber boots she never planned on wearing, so I acquired proper footwear to work in for the rest of the deployment. Along with that, I never actually had to serve as a team leader, which greatly eased my anxiety. I believe God was thankful for my willingness to serve him, but understood my anxiety and reservations behind serving as a team lead. Instead, I either worked as a normal volunteer or spent time assessing since there were not many volunteers. Moncks Corner sure brought to light Luke 10:2, where Jesus said, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few." There was plenty of work to be done and souls in need of salvation, but limited numbers of volunteers. God answered our prayers, though, and provided us with the Changed Lives ministry, some sailors from the United States Navy, and a group of men from Calvary Chapel in St. Petersburg, Florida, which got diverted from Augusta to come serve in Moncks Corner. Each and every one of them played an important role in God's story in serving the community in this section of South Carolina. Not only did they help clean up trees and yards, but they blessed me and the homeowners by sharing their testimonies. I was working hand in hand with individuals who battled against addiction, faced homelessness for one reason or another, or were pickpockets before God saved them, and we all banded together in this one place in order to serve Jesus Christ.
I gained some much needed advice from one man about ministering to my father because he was struggling with a similar situation. He also reminded me the importance of reading the Bible and forming a strong relationship with Jesus because he told me that he opted for a year in prison rather than another AA or NA program because he wanted to read his Bible. That served as a great reminder as to how our mindsets must differ from the worlds, and that our most important role in this life is to be a servant of Jesus, no matter how strange that may seem to everybody else. This man emphasized his point by having me read Romans 12:1-2, which says, "I appeal to you therefore brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect," and explain to him what I thought it meant.

The biggest blessing, though, came from serving the homeowners and being used by God to impact their lives, and they impacted mine in return. Many of the people we served were widows in their 70s or 80s. I met an amazing 82 year old who had been out with her chainsaw the day before until it stopped working. That seemed to go along with the determination she had all her life to be a mechanic, crane operator, NIS agent, and she also built her own house over the course of two years.

One woman in particular, named Lillie, blessed me immensely. She lived alone, but said she was never alone because God's always with her. She exuded joy just from spending her hours with Him, and that was something I desperately needed to be reminded of. I spend lots of time by myself, but as Lillie said, "Suffering from loneliness is your own fault, because God is always by your side each and everyday." Another moment that touched my heart came on the porch of a couple on a cold rainy day. It was a day that I was struggling because it was cold and damp and I was unmotivated to work. Our last work order for the day was at this woman named Silvia's, but then her neighbor came over to ask if we could trim a limb and pray for her husband who had stage four cancer. After we finished the physical labor, we escorted Silvia to the porch of her neighbor's in order to share the Gospel and ask the couple if they knew where they would go if they were to die. Both were not totally sure, so Jim outlined our need for a Savior and asked if they were willing to accept. The man still wasn't sure, but the woman was willing, so Jim prayed over her. After that, Jim asked the man one more time and he practically jumped forward and said something to the effect of, "Let's do this." So we laid hands on him and began to pray and immediately the man began shaking and sobbing. Throughout the course of the prayer by Jim, God was moving everyone because there was a distinct chorus of sniffles on that porch. Upon the prayer's completion, the majority of us were wiping our eyes because we could feel the power of God in that moment, and honestly, I don't know anything other than Jesus that has the power to reduce so many grown men to tears. We then ended our stay at that house with a rousing rendition of "Amazing Grace," which solidified the message of us all needing a Savior to save us from the wretched sin in our lives.
All in all, I am ever so thankful for God leading me to Moncks Corner, SC. I came away with many new friends, and was so touched to experience numerous God moments with this team. God provided me with the faith to turn around and follow His plan and not my own. Each and every detail was intricately planned out by Him, and I was finally tuned in to take notice. It was also a blessing to hear that people were cheered by seeing my glowing smile in the mornings, which encouraged me, especially on the days that I was dealing with spiritual warfare and on the brink of teetering into a depression. And even though we were at first discouraged by the lack of volunteers in the community, God provided those who were necessary to get the job done to remind us that we were serving Him and not ourselves. In closing, I'll leave you with the words of the apostle Paul, which he wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:58 ~ "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."

Perception: Look Past the Cobwebs to the Renovation

"From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away: behold, the new has come." ~2 Corinthians 5:16-17

 I know that Christmas has passed, but I'm sure many of you watched the classic, It's a Wonderful Life. What springs to mind is when George and Mary go to throw rocks at the windows in the house on Sycamore Street. George views it as a worthless shell of a building, but Mary dreams of making it her home one day. Even once George and Mary are married and living at 320 Sycamore, George is frustrated by all of the issues within the house. It isn't until after his visit from Clarence that he comes home thrilled that the top of the staircase post comes off in his hand. It took a new perspective, but George finally saw past the old cobwebs to the value in what the structure at 320 Sycamore had become; a place to call home with his family.

In the same way, we must change our perspective of how we see others. Too often we become focused on the flaws within others and refuse to see the good that they do. If we're wronged in some fashion, our mind deceives us into assuming everything about said person is negative. But if the person who wronged us is a Christian, we must see them as Christ sees them; as a new creation. As Christians, we are forever in this process known as sanctification. God is trying to make us more like Jesus, but we are stilled flawed human beings and stumble along the way. Much like the renovations and construction at JFK Airport, it's an ongoing, lifetime process. Nobody is perfect and we're bound to hurt others along the way unintentionally, so why make matters worse by focusing on the hurt? It'd be like tearing a musician apart for missing one note in an hour long concert. Where is the benefit in that? Is it really worth your energy to dismiss all that went well? Certainly not.  

As Ian Percy said, "We judge others by our behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions." Instead of holding others to impossible standards, remember that they are being renewed in Christ daily and struggle against the desires of their flesh. Since each person who believes in Jesus is now a new creation, it is better to look past the flaws and remember that we're all in this together. We're supposed to be a spiritual family and not at war with one another. It takes time, but progress will be made and recognized. Just don't forget the important positive contributions certain people have made in your life, despite their flawed nature. Remember their heart for the homeless, their love of volunteer work, or their desire to love stray animals. Take to heart the uplifting words others have spoken into your life, rather than zeroing in on negative statements made under stressful circumstances that might have come across wrong because they were emotionally charged.

It's easy to find the negatives in someone's life. That's how the media thrive. Our jobs as Christians, though, is to see the benefit of everybody, despite their past and despite how they might have treated us. We're all part of one body. Each one of us is just trying to dust off the cobwebs in order to allow our hearts to be renovated. So rather that viewing someone with a skewed perception, search to find that radiant light that shines out from the heart of your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Newsflash: It's Not About You

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." ~James 1:22

Obedience and actually living out what the Bible says has been on my mind a lot lately. Hard to believe it was only a week ago that I chose to get baptized after being a Christian for ten years. Part of the reason it's so hard to believe is because I spent the past week volunteering with Samaritan's Purse in Washington, IL, after the tornado that swept through the area just two weeks ago. 

Reflecting on my volunteer experience, I distinctly remember thinking to myself, "It's not about you," in the middle of the week. That day the team I was on started at a house outside what was known as "the hot zone," which was a subdivision in Washington that got completely flattened by the tornado in a matter of thirty to sixty seconds. At that first house, I spent a good hour watching the technical tree team work on carefully removing limbs from a tree before cutting the tree down. I spent much of that time wishing I was doing something so that I wasn't cold or seemingly wasting my time. Thankfully we had an opportunity to rake up the next door neighbor's yard, but I still was in a bit of a funk since I was thinking about how cold I was and my mind was wandering over trivial thoughts about things back home that were clogging up my brain. Our next stop, though, was in the hot zone.

My first glimpse of the hot zone

Driving over towards central Washington didn't hint at what I was about to witness. Here and there I saw a roof missing some shingles or siding off a house, but nothing catastrophic. Then all of a sudden, as I looked to my left out the window, I saw a car in a yard and no houses to be seen. Even though I didn't live there, or know anybody from the area, it was still like a punch in the gut. My brain just couldn't comprehend, and still hasn't fully comprehended, the level of destruction that I came across in the hot zone. To think that all of this happened in 30-60 seconds is unfathomable and unimaginable! As the three of us in the truck got out to assist another team help move debris out of a yard, I immediately remembered why I was there and that it wasn't about me. It didn't matter how cold I was, I had the ability to travel back to a warm church after my day. My team leader had a functioning truck; many homeowners no longer have a working car or may not even know where their car is. The church was a massive structure unharmed by the storm; this entire neighborhood was just flattened. Literally, these people had almost nothing left, other than what few possessions they could salvage from their basements or their neighbors yards. I couldn't believe how petty my thoughts were earlier in the day being so focused on myself. It was definitely an eye opener that I needed.
As the week progressed, I spent more time in prayer for this community as I worked. Since most of the homes were decimated, not many homeowners were around, but on Black Friday, a bunch of brothers of a homeowner showed up at the job site to assist us and to tell their brother's story. Hearing about how the house exploded around him and his son as they ran to the basement and about the son getting buried in debris, but ultimately being okay, was eye opening. To hear a firsthand account of the storm helped put it all in perspective and also demonstrated how God was present in this community during the storm. After listening to such a story, how could I not remember that I'm here because of Christ and I'm to serve like Christ? Galatians 5:13 states, "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." This is just one of many verses about service that requires action in order to be a doer of the word, not just a hearer.

Before our cleanup efforts

Sifting through debris in that yard, I became more and more aware of how my supposed issues paled in comparison to this family and the rest of the Washington community. They were all trivial compared to those who lost all of their possessions in this brief tornado on a November day. Instead of focusing on my own personal thoughts as I worked, I thought of the family and tried to carefully cleanup the yard and search for possessions under all of the debris. I needed to pretend what it would be like to be in their shoes and to take the care in searching as if this were my home and my memories scattered across the yard. Members of my team did a great job carefully saving pictures, drawings, and books they came across. What struck a chord with me were the pages from a Bible that I uncovered on two separate occasions; some spanned from Isaiah to Ezekiel, while others spanned from Colossians to 1 Thessalonians 3. Another find that struck a chord with me demonstrated that even in the midst of all the destruction, God understands and wants to reveal His compassion. I found it ironic that I happened to come across a book entitled Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, but I think the title of that book really captures how everybody in Washington must feel about what happened on November 17th, and to me, it was proof that God is well aware of what everybody endured and still is enduring. Once we finished cleaning the yard and presented the homeowner with a Billy Graham Bible, it became apparent why we took the time and care to cleanup this one yard in a sea of destruction. To see the relief on the homeowner's face and realize that we saved him and his family month's worth of work made it all worthwhile. That was why we served and loved on this family.

Clean yard after a day of work

Knowing that life is not all about me was definitely a reminder that I needed on this deployment, and I'm sure it's one that everybody can learn from. As C.S. Lewis wrote, "Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense." If we can't look outside ourselves, we're doomed and destined to live in despair, unable to have a powerful witness to unbelievers. I realized how much God was trying to pound that into my mind this past week, especially when I took the time to read the Scripture verses on a business card a volunteer had given to me before she left on Thanksgiving. It wasn't until Saturday that I realized that written on it was Philippians 2:3-4 ~  "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." These words reminded me how I need to not just spend my time with Samaritan's Purse, but ultimately, how I must spend my whole life. I must constantly put other people's cares, concerns, and interests ahead of mine in order to avoid being enveloped by selfish pride. At the end of the day, my life is better spent serving others for the glory of Christ, rather than trying to "create a kingdom of self" as the pastor at Elevate Church said yesterday morning during his sermon. Life is more rewarding when we take the time to give of ourselves and not get wrapped up in our own little worlds. We must recognize that there is more to life than us and our problems. I've found that once you learn to live for the service of others, God will open doors in your life and answer the prayers you've been repeating for weeks out of selfishness.