"For we walk by faith, not by sight." ~2 Corinthians 5:7
Planning seems to be a way of life in the 21st century. There's wedding planning, retirement planning, travel planning, etc. Everything under the sun seems to require a plan these days in order to maintain the status quo of society. Unfortunately, plans do not always go as planned. That's when people start asking if there's a backup plan to your original plan. And that's about when my mind decides that it wants to explode. What if I don't want to plan? What if I choose to fly by the seat of my pants with minimal knowledge about what my future holds? What if I opt to live by faith and leave the planning up to God? You know, the Big Man upstairs who CREATED the universe, myself included. I was talking with a friend the other night who put it perfectly. She said something along the lines of, "Constantly planning is like Peter making sure he wore a lifejacket when he stepped out of the boat." Where's the faith? Where's the trust? If we say that we believe God is in charge of our lives, why not relinquish complete control and embrace not knowing every intricate detail of the future?
I've had planning phases in my life, so I'm as guilty as the next person. I planned my college courses to a T, along with my cross country roadtrip back in 2010. I enjoyed both experiences, but there were unforeseen circumstances that I couldn't predict. I had to eventually put my trust in something and someone outside of myself. I needed to allow God to lead me rather than place demands on Him, expecting everything to work out. See, the problem with humans is that we are flawed. We don't know best, and we are limited in our vision. God is not confined by time, making Him the perfect one to go to with our lives. He knows what's in our past and future before we even reach it. Our job is to have faith and stop being so stubborn. I'm not saying that we should never be prepared, but we need to stop assuming we know what's best for our lives. And we need to accept not knowing.
On a whim back in February, I applied for a work exchange program in St. John in the Virgin Islands. I've never been there, but it seemed like a potential cool experience. I put it out of my mind, but to my complete surprise, I got an acceptance email in May. My first response was excitement, but then my mind began racing and wondering. Would I have enough money to afford food and not getting paid for a month? Would I be able to afford the cost of a flight? Would I be able to afford transportation to the resort? Was I just being foolish to up and go to the Virgin Islands in October once I complete my summer job? I was trying to plan the unknown future, which is impossible. Finally, I began to realize that it was potentially a once in a lifetime experience. And then I remembered the other thing that popped into my head as I originally read the acceptance email. "Oceans" by Hillsong United had come to mind, specifically the line, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me." These words spoke volumes to me. Not only was God calling on me to trust Him, but it perfectly fit my situation. I was literally being called to an island in the middle of the ocean that I've never set foot on in my life. How could I possibly say no after such confirmation? So I immediately booked a flight and will be flying to this island the end of September to see what God has in store for me. Sure, some might think it's foolish. Others may assume that I have an inability to plan financially for the future. But I'm not here to garner the approval of people. I'm here to live for God. I'm here to show compassion to those who don't deserve it. I'm here to comfort the brokenhearted and serve others to the best of my abilities.
As much as I try to convince myself that I'm in charge of my life, I need to remind myself that I'm not. Situations change. People change. Only God is the same now and forever. It's time that I stop trying to make sense of everything because the truth of the matter is, life isn't meant to make sense. A + B does not always equal C. It isn't rational and there are many things that I can't ever wrap my head around. But my faith in Jesus is what gets me through each and everyday. It's where I put my trust when things don't add up. Sure, I still need to grow like everyone else and release certain situations to God COMPLETELY. But I know I'm making progress. I'm not as stressed as I used to be and I can go with the flow more naturally because I know my future is in the hands of my Creator.
